Are you moving abroad with small children and wonder what in the world you were thinking? When you land you will immediately begin dealing with consumer concerns, and then the unpacking and organizing. You are doing all of this while taking care of young people who depend on you for nearly everything. Moving within your own country is a challenge, but moving to a foreign country brings about a significant change that can sometimes seem insurmountable. What can you do to preserve your own health and sanity? Stay calm, Mom or Dad, we have tips for you.
Use the online community
There is a social media presence dedicated to serving the local expat community in any location worldwide. If you have shunned Facebook recently, you will need to get over that and rejoin because many of these resources live in that space.
You may have heard of a few groups before you moved or in passing, while waiting for the kids to finish summer camp. Jot them down, load them into your phone, get connected and join the community.Â
This tool will help you adjust to an unknown country while feeling supported by a group of like-minded people. It will be invaluable when trying to find doctors, dentists, hair stylists, (aforementioned) mattresses, and mac n cheese. You will use the search feature every day.Â
Stay connected with WhatsApp
Download WhatsApp and start connecting to people you meet. It is an invaluable tool for keeping in touch and networking. Your kids' school will have chat groups by which you will receive most information about scheduling, meetings, after school programming, and school special events. Ditto for extracurricular organizations.Â
It's likely that your fitness groups also have chats set up for communicating. In the most basic sense, this app will be your lifeline to wherever you call home, as international calls and video and text are free.Â
Often a chat with an old friend is the best part of your day and can lift your spirits so you can stay positive for your kids. Stay connected.
Make time for fitness and wellness
Stay active, particularly if fitness is a big part of your life. If you run, look for neighbors who run around the same time and see if you can join or create a running group that meets regularly. Running is my go to activity for its simplicity.
My weekly trail running group keeps me sane and provides a forum for sharing information about my larger community. It also helps maintain accountability. If you know the team is counting on you to show up, you lace your shoes no matter the weather or the day.
If running isn't your thing, look for bootcamp sign-up sheets at the kids' school or ask other parents what they like to do to stay fit. Spend a day or two looking at all the gyms and recreation opportunities in your area. It will get you out of the house and engaged with other people while familiarizing yourself with the community. Maybe there is a rock climbing center or a women's golf clinic. You never know until you look for yourself.
If you feel good, you pass that good feeling along to your family.
Meditate in the morning
I know. This is hard. I do not enjoy focusing on my breath, but I have found that it helps to ground me. Waking up early before the kids is the perfect opportunity to press play on the Calm app or whatever guided meditation program you like.Â
On any morning, you will find me taking time to be still and listen to my inner voice yell at all my other inner voices while trying to get back to my breath. Maybe you already have meditation as part of your daily routine. You do not want to drop it during this critical time of transition.
Eat well
Go to all the stores and use your online resources to find the farmer's markets because if you let your nutrition slide, you will feel it immediately. Find fresh food, vegetables and fruits, perhaps a local bakery and an organic butcher.Â
There is a lady at my local farmer's market who makes the most amazing walnut pesto. It is fresh, organic, and good for inflammation - and I didn't have to make it! Maintaining good eating habits will help you feel your best.Â
Keep in mind that you won't be able to put all the things on the table you are used to, but be flexible. Maybe pineapple will become your strawberries and eggplant will be your new asparagus. Keep an open mind and get creative.Â
Whatever you do, remember to take care of yourself
When you move to a foreign country and you are caring for young children, it is imperative that you care for yourself, too. Continue to do the things that made you happy in your previous home if you can.Â
Look for people who enjoy the same kinds of activities to create your sense of community and belonging. If you feel connected to the new life, so will your kids. Show them that even though change is sometimes uncomfortable, it can help us grow.Â
Humans are adaptable, and improving our overall creativity and flexibility is always a good thing. While you look for the perfect gym, you might stumble across the sailing center instead. You end up paddle boarding on Thursday mornings and the kids get sailing camp on Saturdays. Win win.Â
Remember to take care of you so you can take care of them.