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Hi Remy,

I am sorry to say, the prime responsibility of mother goes to son till she alive as the social structure of societies even son is married. As far as son is capable to care and support to parents he has to do till they exist .....

In the provinces, very difficult to earn 3k. Have to figure if rent is p500, then earnings are not much higher. Running a veggie stall, may make a few pesos per head of corn. Have to sell a lot of them to make 3k profit.

I find it hard to believe they are unable to meet their expenses on the information you gave. I have found in y dealings with Filipinos they are apat to lie about their expenses so relatives or friends will send them money.

It is hard for Americans to understand the depth of lying that is common in Filipino culture. In my dealings with people from Cagayan de Oro, the average Filipino would rather climb a pole and tell a lie than sit on the ground and tell the truth. Sad but true. They will tell you anything to get you to send money. To their own family members working abroad, as an OFW (overseas foreign worker) the problem is so bad that many become estranged from their families who demand more and more and more money until it becomes impossible to satisfy their own family members. So get tough and say no. Or it will never stop, only increase.

@bromotonmarketing....sad, but dead-on true.

Hi BC1,

Welcome on the Forum

Thank you

Maximilien
Expat-blog Team

Thank you Maximilien. You know, irony is a strange and mysterious thing,
as I was just headed here to amend ny aforementioned post to add that despite what I
said about that one character flaw with many Filipino peeple, albeit a big one,
that I firmly believe the Filipino peeps are the kindest-hearted souls on earth.
the irony occured as I made my way here to post my addendum
that I was notified of your gracious welcome. Prescient, indeed.
Thank you for the welcome.

I agree.
The Filipino people are kind-hearted.
And indeed an irony.

I think lying is well known in their culture and not much is thought about it. It has alot to do with saving face. But for Americans, it will come as a shock. I would say, just get over it and deal with it as an aspect of a different culture with different socio-economic pressures that Americans can never truly understand.

Thank you for the freedom to voice this concern and to alert unsuspecting newcomers to the beautiful Philippines.

I'm OFW (overseas filipino worker), I am not yet married but I have one beautiful daughter and planning to get married after my contract. Even If my family do not ask for financial assistance or for something, I and other OFW's here send money every after payout  to their families. It is for their expenses, rental, electric bill, water bill, tuition fee and/or etc. In our culture, we are like (1) We provide financial assistance because we are really proud that we are now earning more than before or we are now capable to provide (3) we provide financial assistance bcoz this is one of our fulfillments. (5) we send money bcoz we want them to buy things they were not able to buy before (6) we provide financial assistance bcoz we want them to feel financially secured to cover up for their expenses even if this is temporarily with excess. (7) this is an obligation to return back all the blessings that what we have and as a gratitude for all of their efforts and sacrifices.

In short, we really believe in karma, bcoz Filipino who doesn't appreciate his roots shall never succeed.

Franciskitx
Let me be the 1st to say how much I admire OFW's they are in Aussie terms salt of the earth people, where we live a big proportion of residence have 1 parent OFW these people submit themselfs to long periods of working oversea for the benifits of their loved ones and as I see it to the benifit of the extended family and as u point out it is Filipino culture and must be understood and admired, unlike in my culture it's everyone for themselfs
Pete

I have observed and remain in contact with several Filipino OFWs around the world. Amen brother. These Overseas Foreign Workers from the Philippines are remarkable self-sacrificing people. Awesome people for the pain and heartache they endure for the sake of their families and sending money home to the Philippines.

Manila is a whole different world than Cagayan de Oro and Mindanao which is 500 long miles from Manila. Also it is unclear if you are Chinese coming from Taipei or an American in Taipei.

There is much less economic opportunity and the people are much more desperate in Mindanao out of often times dire necessity. Manila is much more modern and Westernized than Mindanao.

yes, it is.
to support a college student.
depending just a ltille income is very hard to have bothe ends meeet

The Philippines to a foreigner seems to be a culture shock, because they are not accustomed to the perspective and culture of the Philippine people.  These are a happy, fun loving people, who support the family as a whole in what ever way they can.  This culture is much different then in other countries where the children go off to begin a new life and leave their parents to manage for themselves.  The family core here is the father and mother, who take care of and provide for their parents, if they are still alive.  The parents children on the other hand are raised and when of age they are expected to help support and provide for their parents.  This is not a rich country money wise, but they are very rich in their heritage and lifestyle.

When I moved here I read quite a bit on the culture of the people here and discovered that they had a wonderful lifestyle.  They work hard, some making just a few pesos a day and others making many pesos a day, but when work is done for the day, they enjoy life to the fullest.

I highly recommend that any foreigner wanting to travel to any country including the Philippines, to browse the web and read about the culture of the countries you will visit.  It may surprise you about the variations of the culture and make your visit and stay more pleasurable.  Remember, you are a visitor here and politeness helps represent your country.

Take Care All, RAC

May I have the attention for all foreigners complaining that Philippine people they deal with are asking money as if they are relatives....

I would like to remind you guys that not all Philippine people are like that. The truth is I witnessed and meet a girl that asking money to her foreign BF and they are indecent internet girls. American guys visiting the Philippines usually meet them for sex and after that the girl would continue demanding for financial support. I think it's easy to say no if you don't really want to give because you don't have obligation to them.  Majority of the people who are not exposed to  internet chatting are not doing that way and they don't even knew that you are talking about them and generalizing them because the fact, only a few percentage of the girls are doing like that. You must have to understand also that those girls are jobless so they are always online to find  job opportunities while also chatting to make friendship with foreign guys and majority of them are indecent girls.

Decent girls in the Philippines would never ask money and so sad to say that you just meet indecent internet girls, so you are complaining . Decent girls in the Philippines will not also meet their foreign boyfriend and have sex, they would demand for marriage and church blessings  before having sex or if she agree to have sex before marriage then expect for a shotgun marriage because she would demand for wedding forcefully after then.

I am also a member of the pool of Millions OFWs working in the other country. I am earning around $40K a year but never in my life that my parents or relatives ask me for money. They didn't. It's just my decision to send them some cash gifts during special occasions such as birthdays and Christmas. Since I am single, then build a house for my family because I don't have commitment yet but I have money.  Its a kind of investment anyway.

So what I could say, if you meet girls particularly who are so commonly chatting online and they are asking for money then bad luck to you because you meet the indecent internet girls so beware. They are not kind of girl for future partner but just for fun.  So may I request do not generalized the girls in the Philippines because only few portion of them are rude and indecent.

In my opinion Php11,000 monthly income is low most especially if your other in law is still in college (college can be demanding when it comes to expenses) better to know how much is the tuition fee and what kind of payment terms they are doing. Better ask your husband to know other expenses as well as living in the province is very hard (unlike if you live here in Manila and have a decent job, Php3,000 will be easy to earn if you have a white collar job).

In my case, me and my partner earned about a median income each (no kids yet). Like for example, our rent is Php8,000 (monthly). Internet costs Php3,000 (monthly). Electricity costs Php2,000 (monthly no aircon with aircon, this can go up to Php4,000). Weekly grocery is Php3,000. Water billing is Php600 (monthly). Cable TV Php800 (monthly). Laundry costs Php1,200 (monthly). Total monthly expense is Php27,600 monthly and this is just for 2 pax (me and my partner) only no kids, no tuition fee, no other stomach to feed.

It's always better to have everything be on black and white so that all can be accounted for.

I hope this helps!

Hey Rico27,

I was wondering what you spend in cell phone, transportation and cooking gas since you didn't mention these expenses in your monthly budget? Also, when you go out with your wife, how much do you spend on a typical dinner in a descent restuarant for the both of you?

Cell, phone, gas are some of the cheapest things in Manila. P100 top up card will get you a lot of texts (people dont talk, just text), if you travel via multi cab or jeepney p20 per trip, and gas for my condo is p600 per month and I cook a lot.

hi Thanks to you.. i've been asking my sister in law about their life there..actually the P11,000 is salary of my first sister in law, the 2nd one has her scholarship and only pay about p5000 a year for her tuition fees..but, i don't know how much is exactly their parents can earn with their vegetable stall..but they said it just enough for their daily needed and also to pay their debt..i don't know what kind of debt..either shark loan debt or whatever..my husband also don't know about lives there because he grew up in Malaysia and never been there before. we might be moved there end of this year or next year..i just worried that his family there will expect too much from us once we live there..i'm saying this not because i dont want my husband to help them.. i'm just worried..thanks again for your every information..in the future i will ask you again anything i want to know if you dont mind..thanks..GBU

prince_denison wrote:

May I have the attention for all foreigners complaining that Philippine people they deal with are asking money as if they are relatives....

I would like to remind you guys that not all Philippine people are like that. The truth is I witnessed and meet a girl that asking money to her foreign BF and they are indecent internet girls. American guys visiting the Philippines usually meet them for sex and after that the girl would continue demanding for financial support. I think it's easy to say no if you don't really want to give because you don't have obligation to them.  Majority of the people who are not exposed to  internet chatting are not doing that way and they don't even knew that you are talking about them and generalizing them because the fact, only a few percentage of the girls are doing like that. You must have to understand also that those girls are jobless so they are always online to find  job opportunities while also chatting to make friendship with foreign guys and majority of them are indecent girls.

Decent girls in the Philippines would never ask money and so sad to say that you just meet indecent internet girls, so you are complaining . Decent girls in the Philippines will not also meet their foreign boyfriend and have sex, they would demand for marriage and church blessings  before having sex or if she agree to have sex before marriage then expect for a shotgun marriage because she would demand for wedding forcefully after then.

I am also a member of the pool of Millions OFWs working in the other country. I am earning around $40K a year but never in my life that my parents or relatives ask me for money. They didn't. It's just my decision to send them some cash gifts during special occasions such as birthdays and Christmas. Since I am single, then build a house for my family because I don't have commitment yet but I have money.  Its a kind of investment anyway.

So what I could say, if you meet girls particularly who are so commonly chatting online and they are asking for money then bad luck to you because you meet the indecent internet girls so beware. They are not kind of girl for future partner but just for fun.  So may I request do not generalized the girls in the Philippines because only few portion of them are rude and indecent.

CLAP CLAP! that is the real story behind of all these accusations of foriegners towards filipinos, they talk shit towards filipinos only based on what they know and experienced from those indecent women that they met online.


i think the above post is also from a filipino working abroad, well she's complaining about her inlaws asking for her husband's support, 3000 pesos is not that big if the husband is earning above minimum wage, does she ever know the word "FAMILY"???? that only 3000 pesos support from a "SON" is not a big deal. If these people who asking for support is not her husband family yeah definetly i will say that is bad, but since its a family "her husband's mother" and its only 3k, well think about it Mrs before you complain like its really a big deal.

thanks for your comment.. i think you misunderstand what i'm trying to say..i'm not angry if my in law ask support from my husband and i do know what the means of word FAMILY.. for your information i meet my husband not from online like some people do..my husband also never been there (philippines) because he is grew up here and abandoned by his parents 13 years ago..do you have any idea how  miserable and how hard my husband's life here without any legal paper because of his parents leave him here without give him any legal documents (passport or birth certificate). what i'm trying to say from my previous post is, why my husband's sister who had a job there refuse to support their family since she is still single..and why my fathers in law can't earn a few to support their expenses there..frankly speaking the whole family there won't talk each other..(regarding to what my 2nd sister in law told me) this is very sad for me..if you mad with my post..i am truly sorry..its not my intention to look down people there.. i'm also try my best to help my in laws and my husband here.. its very hard for my husband to earn a lot money here since he don't have anything papers..i just tired of it.

FYI, I am not saying you met your husband through internet, if you'll analize my post "CLAP CLAP! that is the real story behind of all these accusations of foriegners towards filipinos, they talk shit towards filipinos only based on what they know and experienced from those indecent women that they met online." this is only a reply to prince_denision post, to make him know taht i am agree with his opinion regarding to what forigners think about "Filipinos" and kindly check my post it is in the first paragraph  of below quote from prince_denision. and in the second paragraph is refering to your post.

And my apology if i misunderstand your post, well i didnt know what happened to your hasband, i didnt know that his parents left him 13 years ago without anything on his hand i can say that's sucks. I'm seriusly sorry for that. And yes i know how hard it was for him, because i came from the same situation or maybe we're differ in some ways.

again ms. remy, I am not angry to you or because of your post. What making me **** of are those foriegners who speak bulshit about "Filipinos" and i think this is also the reason why prince_denision wrote that comment in which i agree. This white guys sghould know that 'filipinos" specially women here are quite different to each other, they should do a comparison between the professional filipinos and the one that they only met through online.

thanks to you.. actually i realize that i am not suppose to post about my in laws problem there..seems that i'm out of topic..i really want to know how much the cost of living there in Balingasag, Misamis Oriental area..if you have any idea..i need to know before move there.

I dont know what kind of living they have in Misamis since now I am living here in manila and also i have never been in that place. But i think life in Misamis is not far from life in other provinces. My question is what kind of vegetables they are selling? if its just a normal vegestables like, green leafy veges, tomatoes, eggplant, string beans ect. and they were not the one who planted and harvested it i can say that it is really hard to earn 3000 pesos. Farmers who can earn more than a handred thousand pesos in the province are those who own hectares of rice, corn, pineapple and sugar cane fields, and also those who owns mango farms. I can say that it is hard for your inlaws to earn 3000 pesos.

Aout your sister inlaw who is working in a bank 11,000 pesos is enough for a single person but since she has a sister who is in college, well it is not enough.. 500 rent is very low compare here in manila because you cannot find lower than 1500 rent here and that is only a small and old room without bathroom or kitchen just a room for 1 person and its very small i dont think you can even hundle to stay in for a couple of months. But since your inlaws are in the province thats why they can have very low price for rent.

If you want to move in Misamis then choose a place in town so you can put a small business like celphones and computers repair shop or Internet cafe since your husband is good at it. And you can put RTW shop. Just giving you an idea Internet cafe is ok.

hi thanks to you..my mother in law just sell a normal vegetables also she bought from supplier. but i understand that my father in law grow a few hectares of corn in their land. i don't know if it is can make profit or not.

I want some ideas to create 3000 pesos within a month !

You and your husband are very good people, that you still want to help out the parents even though they abandoned your husband when he was young.  Though family is family, your husband's parents do not deserve your help, considering what they did.

About the 3,000 peso question, it's not a matter of whether they can make 3000 or not. Your in laws are still surviving, aren't they? They're not homeless. Right? Whatever your mother in law can't sell in the market, they can eat. If your father in law has a farm land, all they need to do is put up a small hut, and they'd have a roof over their head. They can also plant veggies there for their own consumption or to sell.

There's always ways to earn extra money. Your in laws can sell / peddle snacks like fried bananas on a barbecue stick, or do a "re-packing" business, such as buying things like black peppers, garlic, or other sweets in bulk, and putting them in small plastic bags, which they can sell to sari-sari stores or the market for a profit.

I fear for the two of you. That your in laws would keep knocking on your door once you set up a business in the Philippines. That they would make your husband feel guilty if he doesn't give them money, making the two of you even feel more miserable than where you are now. By the way, how well do you know them? Why do you think they're not in good terms with their daughter? Hopefully, they are nice people.

If you do give them money, for what are they going to use the extra money? Potable water or potent potables? Smoking fish that they can eat or sell, or smoking cigarettes? Like I said earlier, how well do you know them? Try to find out more about them, not much about their finances, but more like their character and attitude, then decide whether they deserve your help.

just do some marketing work. php3,000 is not hard to earn

Remy13.
Let me offer my two cents worth as a Kano successfully married to a Filipina ( with ALL the family) for almost 25 years now. You are missing the big question here. It is not how much that family group needs to live. They are making it now ya? The question is, once you move there, that you and your husband need to discuss and decide together how much support you are willing to give them! It may be nothing, if you are both comfortable with that and willing to stick to it, that is O.K. It may be something. Decide what that something is and stick to it. Everyone needs to understand you are NOT a credit line nor a cash machine. You are not available for "a great business deal," " a little something to get us till payday," "nor able to loan something to get the trike fixed."
You may give gifts; Christmas, birthdays, graduations. Their family, you can afford it, it is up to to decide what and how much when. It is hard, it leads to some difficult discussions in the beginning, but it does eventually get much easier as the various parties learn the boundaries and limits. You have to be firm. If you were not, then no one knows what those boundaries are and human nature being such as it is they will tend to explore the edges.
In my case, eventually I brought my wife's sisters her parents and two of her nephews nieces to live with us. It was for a while it was not permanent. One sister continues to function as a housekeeper groundskeepers to some extent. Every family, every relationship will end some extent be different. You need to make a decision that you and your husband can live with. I can tell you that I have even had some issues on my American relative side as well. Good luck.