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Dear Mal,

It was not mine but my father's story...they were 4 brothers after the death of grand father they divided the property...the other 3,though my dad was not there due to his job...and they left one part for my father...but after a year they sold there part and again divided the one which was for my father into 4 equal parts ....then my father said ...i dont want this also you can divide it...because he believes nothing we can take with us this land ...money...wealth every thing will be left here...first it was for someone...now it would be ours...and tommorow it will be for someone else...

So dont feel sad and say thanks to god atleast one of your brother understand you...that love is more than thousands other type brother....

regards,
anil

Thank you Anil, Your father is great! But I was paying for the loans so I had to sell the house to fix that stuff.
Soon I will forget these issues and go to have some holidays! 

You are welcome Mal, Everything will be alright ....your intention was right so every thing will follow to you will be right...there is saying ....right paths are very difficult and long,even hard but when you reach you are full of experiences...there is no saying like that but i feel like that....

Mal, it is a sad story. I hope you are happy now.

Dear Mal,
How can one not have compassion for this story. I am really sorry for you that this happened to you.
For certain and true, it must be terrible to have been treated like this by your own blood kin.
In my country things like this happen rare. I do not know about other countries and Sri Lanka - you culture is different and so is
traditions.
If I step aside instead and look and this story from the side it sounds like your kin had a obsessive control behavior. You as the
girl and sister seem to be very straightforward, independent, ambitious and free thinking..... Perhaps a bit too much for how girls
is supposedly to be in Sri Lanka - or is your country equal between man and woman in ways of laws, culture and traditions?
The behaviors is like giving you the pinky finger but cutting of your hand.
It is a act of showing control and who is head in family at the same time as showing some good-will took away all your freedom
by controlling it.

I would not say I had a similar story, but in a way of sort of I had in smaller measures.
When I was in my upper teens my father had a big control behavior of sorts. Later it was found that he had a senil sickness
similar to Alzheimer's. And the symptoms start with changes of personality and strange/selfish behavior.
There were many small incidents, once when I was about 20 we purchased a car together, he paid half, I paid half but I had
to ask permission every time I wanted to use it and if I did not go the closes way but took a small detour I would get a grumpy
notification of it. I could ask permission well in advance to have the car, for example to go somewhere or have plans for the
weekend but he always waited so long with a decision so that the plans would go wasted before he took a decision.
I guess this was his way of teaching me how to better communicate and put all cards on the table in front of planning.
Another really bad story was when I was about 22. On Friday morning he called me and told me I had to have his (our family) dog
over the weekend. I told him I had plans to go away with friends whereof he threatened to take the dog to the vet and put it to sleep
should I not take the dog in over the weekend. So it was a kind of black mail.

Anyway, Mal, I feel sympathy with you and really really hope all is for the better now and that you have closed and exterminated
the connection with the people who try to hurt you like this. In my most humble opinion I am sure you are really worth to be treated
fairly and best.

Magnus

maro18 wrote:

Mal, it is a sad story. I hope you are happy now.

Hi Maro, No I can not say I am happy at the moment. But hope to, soon! Thanks

magnus wrote:

Dear Mal,
How can one not have compassion for this story. I am really sorry for you that this happened to you.
For certain and true, it must be terrible to have been treated like this by your own blood kin.
In my country things like this happen rare. I do not know about other countries and Sri Lanka - you culture is different and so is
traditions.
If I step aside instead and look and this story from the side it sounds like your kin had a obsessive control behavior. You as the
girl and sister seem to be very straightforward, independent, ambitious and free thinking..... Perhaps a bit too much for how girls
is supposedly to be in Sri Lanka - or is your country equal between man and woman in ways of laws, culture and traditions?
The behaviors is like giving you the pinky finger but cutting of your hand.
It is a act of showing control and who is head in family at the same time as showing some good-will took away all your freedom
by controlling it.

I would not say I had a similar story, but in a way of sort of I had in smaller measures.
When I was in my upper teens my father had a big control behavior of sorts. Later it was found that he had a senil sickness
similar to Alzheimer's. And the symptoms start with changes of personality and strange/selfish behavior.
There were many small incidents, once when I was about 20 we purchased a car together, he paid half, I paid half but I had
to ask permission every time I wanted to use it and if I did not go the closes way but took a small detour I would get a grumpy
notification of it. I could ask permission well in advance to have the car, for example to go somewhere or have plans for the
weekend but he always waited so long with a decision so that the plans would go wasted before he took a decision.
I guess this was his way of teaching me how to better communicate and put all cards on the table in front of planning.
Another really bad story was when I was about 22. On Friday morning he called me and told me I had to have his (our family) dog
over the weekend. I told him I had plans to go away with friends whereof he threatened to take the dog to the vet and put it to sleep
should I not take the dog in over the weekend. So it was a kind of black mail.

Anyway, Mal, I feel sympathy with you and really really hope all is for the better now and that you have closed and exterminated
the connection with the people who try to hurt you like this. In my most humble opinion I am sure you are really worth to be treated
fairly and best.

Magnus

Hi Magnus
Thanks a lot for the words with coverage and advices and that help with much the consoling .
Everyone has a story to tell. I am so sorry to hear about what you faced in your child-hood. That is also a bad experience, for a child to face bad situation inside his own house. That is abusing. (Fortunately my parents were like angels. They taught us all the good things in the world but not everyone of the family could adopt that in their life in adulthood.) I am sure by now you are happy but trust we can not easily forget the bad memories happen with blood relatives. Because we are running same blood during our life and we expect the best affection from them. But now we can not revise our fast.

Yes your correct about culture. In this country, we can not go much against our social issues. Specially a girl or a lady has to be under-controlled.   No equality with man and woman! Woman is the house run part when the man is the bread-winner. However, not only relatives but also the society try to interfere others lives too much and that is crazy and awful. Elder brothers and sisters mostly think youngsters must obey them.They don't care whether the younger one is how much ever respectable in the society or how much educated. Elders think they are the all rounded and experts in everything! This is bad.

In my case, these days new owner is going to Police and has an idea to go to courts to have the access. I too have to go to courts for evidence.  This brother's wife is a village woman who has a bad mouth telling everyone  that I am a lady with bad character. Some villages take it and some ignores up to their social level. I keep quit because am not into argument environments. Now I live separate house lil far from former place with walking distance  to the beach and I have bought a small land nearby in a peaceful neighborhood . So when I open my window or step out from door, fresh wind is coming always from sea throwing away my bad memories to far and far. 
Have many plans for future....!