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thesuz wrote:

What percentage of Westerners (Americans) wear head scarfs? My husband has applied for a job in Saudi and in my research I've read that it's not "required" however, I think I would like to in order to blend in and also to respect the culture. I am a Christian, BUT...I just think theres no reason to buck the system when I can easily wear the head scarf.  Having said that, a few of my American friends who are already over there have stated that it is an "unspoken" rule to not give in and that other American expats would get upset if I did because it would put pressure on them and others to do so when they didn't want to.  So....my question is how many Westerners wear headscarfs?

Thanks for your help!

While I am neither in the Kingdom or female, from vast amounts of research, reading and just generallyasking questions and following the conversations of others, I can tell that, at least in Jeddah, the prevailing attitude among Western expat females is to not cover their hair but have a scarf ready just in case the muttawa (sp?) ask you to cover up. 

With that said, the same prevailing attitude seems to acknowledge that Jeddah is NOT the conservative strong-hold found in places such as Riyadh or the eastern area of KSA and that ladies should be prepared to have their hair covered when going out and about outside of Jeddah.

I'm not sure about any unspoken rules but it would seem unwise to me to blatantly challenge the accepted societal customs of your host country simply because "other American expats would get upset."   To be completely honest, I'd rather have Western Expats get upset that have to deal with the nightmare of trying to get my wife out of jail because the religious police found her to be either un-cooperative or belligerent.

Just my two cents...

Rigger

Thank you very much for your help and input! I completely agree with you. Actually, the people I've spoken to are in Riyadh.  I just don't understand that mentality....if I'm visiting a country or living in it....I will do as they do in order to show respect.

thesuz wrote:

Thank you very much for your help and input! I completely agree with you. Actually, the people I've spoken to are in Riyadh.  I just don't understand that mentality....if I'm visiting a country or living in it....I will do as they do in order to show respect.

Sometimes the old, "When in Rome..." Guidelines really of ring true.   Actually my wife is more concerned about getting in trouble for her faith that covering her head.   She's just about accepted the fact if having to wear the abaya.  It helps that several well respected expat ladies have passed in the the Abaya need not be black - at least in Jeddah.

So your wife wears an abaya, but does she wear a headscarf, if I may ask?

thesuz wrote:

So your wife wears an abaya, but does she wear a headscarf, if I may ask?

Well, technically she's not wearing either yet.  She and my daughter will join me this summer after my wife's teaching contract in NC in finished. 

But, yes, she will wear the abaya and carry a scarf in her purse.

Thank you.

thesuz wrote:

Thank you.

You're very welcome.  I responded to your PM.  Hopefully it answered some of your questions.

R

I am in Jeddah, and from my observations over a 29 year period, I would say the percentage is very low, about 5 percent or lower.  I guess if you are blonde it might be better to cover your hair if you don't want to attract attention/stares, but there is really no need to cover your hair.  It is not only Western women who don't cover their hair, but thousands of others as well, such as Lebanese, Filipinos, and some South Asians as well.  Heck, an increasing number of young Saudi women are also ditching the head covering.  I have no idea about Riyadh, but I am sure the percentage is higher there.  I am sure Khobar/Dhahran is the same as Jeddah.

I would say if you are going to be in Riyadh, it would be advisable to cover, but absolutely no need in Jeddah or Khobar/Dhahran.  And if you are going to be in some small conservative town such as Hail, Buraydah, Jizan, etc, then you must cover your hair.

Trapezius wrote:

I am in Jeddah, and from my observations over a 29 year period, I would say the percentage is very low, about 5 percent or lower.  I guess if you are blonde it might be better to cover your hair if you don't want to attract attention/stares, but there is really no need to cover your hair.  It is not only Western women who don't cover their hair, but thousands of others as well, such as Lebanese, Filipinos, and some South Asians as well.  Heck, an increasing number of young Saudi women are also ditching the head covering.  I have no idea about Riyadh, but I am sure the percentage is higher there.  I am sure Khobar/Dhahran is the same as Jeddah.

I would say if you are going to be in Riyadh, it would be advisable to cover, but absolutely no need in Jeddah or Khobar/Dhahran.  And if you are going to be in some small conservative town such as Hail, Buraydah, Jizan, etc, then you must cover your hair.

Suz,

For what it's worth, Trap is a wealth of information.  His profile say Pakistani but he might as well be a Saudi native.  He has helped me on more than one occasion and, although I'm not there yet, I'm confident in the information he's passed along.

R

Thank you so much for all of your information! It is very helpful! Of course, we are in the early stages...still applying, but if we are in a larger city, and I still would like to wear a head scarf out of respect and also in hopes to avoid being corrected/blending in, etc. Would that be okay or have you noticed that it causes problems or friction between other expects when one person gives in (or chooses) to do so?  I'm American and a devout Christian, but I think I would prefer to do so.

Thank you all for your feedback and information!

I am also an American. We are living in Jeddah and I do not wear a head scarf, but I usually have one in my bag in case I am asked respectfully to cover my hair. None of the western women in my compound wear the scarves when we go out as well.

If you are in Riyadh or a more conservative city you will definitely have to cover your head.

Also Abayas in Jeddah are often worn in various colors, though most are still black. Again in the more conservative cities the abayas are always black.

Hi, hope you will enjoy your time in Saudi!
Im Ukrainian, living in Khobar, Western province. The scarf here is not the issue at all as we have here a large community of foreigners (indians, phillipino, americans, some europeans and russians)
The question of scarf has only 2 reasons: If you are muslim in your documents you are obliged to wear it no matter from where you came and how open minded is your husband. Second, its a matter of your privacy and safety....i.e. if you are having blond hair hipp long (my case) you will hardly like to expose it to people who will just undress you with their eyes everywhere.
You might chose the third option which is having your scarf with you everywhere and in case you feel some embarassing atention just wrap it nicely.
Any questions are welcomed, have a good day!

Thank you so much for your advice! I really appreciate your words of wisdom! : )

While I'm neither in KSA or a female and I'm not Muslim. I find it ironic that many expats there (mostly the Americans) seem to be so resistant to wearing (or having their women wear) the head scarf to show respect for local customs. They want to be there to earn their salaries, but don't want to conform or adapt. The OP's statement, "it is an 'unspoken' rule to not give in and that other American expats would get upset if I did because it would put pressure on them and others to do so when they didn't want to" really speaks volumes. Respecting local customs, religion and customs IS NOT GIVING IN, it's just respect. The average American has an absolute fit when an immigrant comes into the USA and seems in any way to stand out. They DEMAND all foreigners adapt to the "American way of life", and how!

I bet these very same individuals who are so blatantly defiant wouldn't hesitate to pop a yarmulke/kippah on their head if they were to enter a Jewish Synagogue. Is it just an Anti-Islam thing? They don't seem to be so openly Anti-Semetic. Very strange, but typically American.

Just my two cents worth.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, Expat-blog Experts Team

Well, I am American and I do agree 100%! I don't understand the resistance. I think that is part of the experience. I want to take it all in! But, that is just my opinion. And I certainly know that others have different opinions and they need to do what is right for them!

Omhana wrote:

If you are muslim in your documents you are obliged to wear it no matter from where you came and how open minded is your husband.

Huh?  Obliged by whom?  Are you saying you have never seen any Muslim woman with her hair uncovered?  How is that possible, when a significant minority of Arab women (most of whom are Muslim) here do not cover their hair?  And then there are also some Muslim women from South Asia who also don't cover their hair.  And last but not least, some Saudi women also do not cover their hair.  I find it odd that you have not seen a single Muslim woman with her hair open.

Thesuz -
  Do what you feel comfortable with. Many women including Arabs do not cover their heads if they are not from Saudi and many do. It all depends on their preference or family.

Men will stare no matter what, because you are not arab. I have a lot of stares also due to my daughter having very red hair. You get used to it. I look them in the eye & they tend to turn away as they are not supposed to be looking at women. Though none have ever been disrespectful to me or my girls.

I am a little annoyed at Wjwoodward though. Until you live in KSA and are female you really can't know what it is like. I do respect their customs and that is why I wear the abaya, but covering my head to hide who I am is more than I am ready to do, but I do have a scarf on me 90% of the time in case I am asked respectfully to cover my head.  Until a male is a female in this country and wearing these items over their clothes in 40+ degrees Celsius heat then they really shouldn't say a lot.

I hope you are really reading all threads in this forum about life for females as the abaya was probably the smallest change. Not being allowed to drive was harder and actually having to ask for money from my husband as I am now know on my iquama as housewife I don't have a bank account let alone debit card. Also having to plan in advance trips to the grocery store so that I can arrange a driver. You just can't go anywhere unless you hire a private driver full time.

They really don't..

Omhana wrote:

You are right that many of muslim women dont put on scarf......but......there is religious police called mutawwa, if they catch her they will punish her husband.

I think it is important not to post misinformation.

I have lived in this country for 30+ years and have know about the mutawwa for just as long.  I don't claim to know what would happen if a Muslim woman went about with her hair uncovered in Riyadh and the mutawwa spotted her.  However, in Jeddah and Khobar/Dhahran, NOTHING will happen, I repeat, nothing.

Some Muslim women go about with their hair uncovered in malls and nothing happens.  If the mutawwa spot them, they just ask them to cover their hair, that's all.  If they are with their husbands, they tell the husbands to tell their wives to cover their hair.  No one gets punished, in any sense of the word.  What did you mean by "punish"?  Prison?  Flogging?  Nothing happens.

So please, don't post something that perhaps applies to some cities or to past decades and pass it off as if it applies to the whole country.

I would just stick to the point of Trapezius and keep it very simple;

KSA - Women wear an abaya wherever they are.

Jeddah - No need to wear a head scarf (some have suggested taking one in a bag which may be good advice, although here it is unlikely you will get asked to put it on.)

Riyadh - Definetly should wear a head scarf

Smaller areas such as Hail etc - Definetly should wear a head scarf

there have been a lot of other comments but i think that has kind of taken away from the question raised. A lot of it is hear say and doesnt have to much weight.

......

Please pay no attention to Mr. Woodward, he is a funny guy and his knowledge of Saudis and Americans is hilarious .   
No westerners do not wear head scarves, unless we are in a conservative area. I am in my 5th year here as a resident, we are disrespecting anyone by not wearing it , the  Matawa are not bothered at all by our heads, doing your hair and wearing makeup become a thing of the past in this heat. I have never been approached to cover up. I wear an abaya, I have zippers put on them, you do not want to show legs,  arms  , well from the neck down should be covered. This we do out of respect. The Matawa will not bother you if you do not wear an abaya if your clothing are very loose and cover fully. BUT, I think that is silly to buck the system , just put on the clothing, I have friends who have been he many years and have never put an abaya on.  We were asked not to wear one years ago. But things change.  Don't be put off by all the suggestions ,you will learn to get by your own way, the longer you are here the more times your prospective on this place will change.

Okay, thank you very much! All of this feedback is so helpful.

Hail...headscarf only lol, that a joke right??? I lived there last year and you NEED a nikab if u are Arab or white...I got told to cover my eyebrows once by muttawa...Qassim is even stricter than Ha'il.

I'm in Riyadh now some westerners don't wear hijab but to me that's not blending in...I wear hijab as I'm Muslim but for wear hijab till I came to ksa, but I wear nikab when I am alone and I prefer nikab for comfort and safety when alone.

But I did get told to cover my face in a mall in riyadh mall the other week...suppose cos I look Saudi to them? Lol even though I look Syrian/Egyptian in reality ...also last year visiting riyadh me and a friend got old by muttawa to wipe lipstick off haha was kind red tho all this fun in ksa love it!

It's about Saudis wanting to protect their women...and not wanting them to show their faces. I think mostly they hassle Arabs and Saudis to wear nikab but I see Syrians/Egyptian/Lebanese with their husbands without nikab and it's ok only when alone or group of females as I always  haha...

It makes a difference where you live, I am in the eastern providence and it is more relaxed here .

Hi,

It varies from city to city.  Here in Buraydah all women in public must be fully covered including the face veil.  Other cities are more relaxed but not wearing a scarf will attract more attention.  Best thing is to find out what city you are going to be living in.  All in all you should considering wearing one out of shear respect for the culture as you are a guest.