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Enny Frans wrote:

Hello everyone. It's been 8 months that i've been here, and i feel very comfortable to just make friends with other foreigners here rather then the native. I met some native, but to make friends with them or build kind of friend relationship is seems impossible. Correct me if i am wrong that many expat actually feel the same. They give the air kisses easily, but doesn't mean that they will be our friend. It's hard to say that they are not friendly, it just feel like they build a thick wall against friendship kind of thing with the foreigner. Once again, correct me if i am wrong.

Well, from my experience i agree with everything you said, i came to understand that it's just the way it is, they "am not generalizing here" do not open up to foreigner very easily, it need time and good overall experience with you to get added to the friend-zone.

After 2 years living in Brussels, i managed to befriend 2 native Belgians, which elsewhere you could do that in a week.

Hi Enny,

let me contact you..we are two people would like to move in Brussels. We are Italian, we speak English and French. Do you think we could have chance to get a job quickly?
Any suggestion about accomodation and job? We would like to share an apartment or something else.
Do you know any site?
We would appreciate your help.
We remain for your feedback,
Tiziana&Giuseppina

Hello guys, nice to meet you.

If you are fluent in French and English, i think it is not a big problem to find job. Anyway, it is also about luck to get job.

About the accomodation, I live in Schaerbeek area, and it is not an expensive area. for more choice, you can try visit the website: - immoweb.be/en/ we found our apartment through this website.

For the job, i normally try to find in these website: - misterhoreca.be/main.aspx (for restaurants or hotel)
or - xpats.com/jobs.

Good luck.

Of course you are wrong. Forming relationships (independently of personalities)  depends on your language skills , those of your neighbours, and how  much longer you are perceived to be staying here. If your kids attend a local school, and it looks like you're here for good, it'll be easy - if you travel to london or wherever you come from every week end , and people know you'll be gone in 6 months, forget about it.

Alain (Belgian with some good xpats friends )

I have lived in Belgium for more than 4 years. In general, you can find a big diversity of Belgian people. As I realized, Flemish and Walonians have big differences. Flemish people are more German-oriented, while Walonians are more French-oriented. I noticed that the former ones like organizing everything in their life and it is very difficult to get into their comfort zone, since they try to keep it as more stable as they can. Besides that, they are open only to persons that they know. So, spontaneous behaviours from Flemish people are almost non-existing, while Walonians are warmer people and they will talk or greed you even though you are stranger for them. Personally, it was very difficult for me to make Flemish friends and the only one Flemish person that can be considered a good friend has been living in Greece for 25 years so he has adopted the Greek mentality. I have also concluded that there are two types of Belgians: (a) those that like hanging out with international people and they do not like the conservative Belgian mentality, and (b) those that like hanging out exclusively with Belgians. Even in the second case, Flemish people would mostly choose Flemish people, keeping aside a Walonian person. These stereotypes have given me really bad impression about the formation of that society.

I have also noticed in Belgium that you should always organize in advance (1-3 weeks) your meetings even for a drink, otherwise you might stay alone. It was also very common to see single people in the bars and clubs. This has given me clear conclusions for the local society. Indeed, Belgians can be so introvert that they will choose to be lonely. While Mediterraneans invest on their social network and they try to meet new people without fear, Belgians do not trust easily and they will not let you enter their comfort zone so easily. Besides that, I have concluded that there is lack of national consciousness in Belgium so a Belgian person will rarely try to help a fellow citizen. I have experienced many times such behaviors and the usual answer was "It's not my responsibility". Even when I was meeting Belgians in other countries and I was chatting with them, they were trying to avoid me. I have also discussed with Belgians about the typical greetings that are rare in Flanders. Many of them told me that it's usual not to know your neighbors and not to regard them. Indeed, I have made a lot of efforts to organize a good social network including Belgians as well, but after some point I got tired and was hanging out with international and Greek friends.

Hello Nefkarpi,

It is not a bad idea to reactivate an old discussion. But traditionally this is not done. We create a new one.

Your analysis is not bad. But it is superficial and fragmentary. Because you do not take into account the cultural and historical aspect.

Belgium is an artificially created country that brings together three culturally diverse communities. Each community has its own language, its own culture, its own traditions, its own history, ... And you would like us to be able to hear each other because we have Belgian nationality. It may happen someday. But this is the resort of utopia. The history of the world is full of this type of story. An example among others the former Yugoslavia ...

As you says, Flemish and German-speaking are more introverted than Walloon. This is not true, it is only psychological reserve. Because when they give their trust and their friendship, it is without counting and without half measure. The Walloon may seem more welcoming and warm but it is not necessarily the case ...

There is also the negative aspect of the language barrier. The Flemish language is a dialect derived from the Dutch language. Which in spite of their historical past has always complexed them. Unlike the Walloons whose spoken French is much more identical to that spoken by the French. So when foreigners coming to visit our country, you speak in English and / or in French, it blocks them. Look in your country for schools where Flemish is taught, you will find almost none. Whereas if you are looking for schools where French is taught, you will find many ...

Now in terms of your so-called planning friendly meetings, it's wind ... This is not because in the Mediterranean countries it is almost necessary to go out every night. That must be the same with us too. First, we place family relationships. Then come neighborhood relations and ultimately friendly / professional relationships.

In conclusion, whatever the country, we must never forget that it is the newcomer who must integrate into the country. And not to the country of expatriation to change to please the newcomer ...