禁漫天堂

Such sweeping generalizations are always quite inaccurate and extremely unfair.

You'll find women (and men too) who are like that in every nation on earth, more still in developing nations where expats are seen as all being rich and a potential doorway to a better life in another country.

Usually when one ends up in a bad relationship it is most often because they themselves have rushed into it with their eyes wide open, ignoring all the warning signs and red flags that are right under their noses; or they've made their choice based solely upon looks. Exceptionally beautiful women (or exceptionally handsome men) know they're good looking and many will work that to their advantage to entrap foolish partners who don't look beyond the "physical". We men are probably more susceptible to ending up in bad relationships, because many of us have a tendency to think with "the wrong head".

Where we go to meet our prospective partners is also good indicator of the quality of the pool we have to choose from too. If you're picking up women in bars, then chances are you're not going to be selecting from a pool of saints. It's going to be much more successful if you focus your attentions on places where decent women go, or to start up relationships with women who are introduced to you by friends you can trust.

Never rush into any relationship, no matter how the sparks are flying. Our hormones were invented to lead us down that old garden path and get us into trouble, we need to learn how to control them. It's imperative to take one's time and get to know the person we plan to spend the rest of our lives (or at least a prolonged period of time) with. That means get to know their interests, their likes and dislikes, their habits (some of which may even annoy you), evaluate their personality and more importantly their CHARACTER. If you don't take the time to do that, then you have nobody to blame but yourself if you end up with a dud.

Also, having a good relationship is just like growing a flower garden. You plant the seeds, cultivate the soil, water and weed and watch the flowers grow and blossom. Once they do, would you stop tending the garden? Would you just sit back on your laurels and say look at the beautiful flowers I've grown, do nothing more and let them wither and die because of lack of attention? Well, I'm here to tell you that having a good relationship is no different, it stays good if you keep working on it, it fades and dies if you don't. Siimple as that!

You got stung, I'm sad for you. That said, how long did you spend taking time to get to know the woman? Did you look at anything beyond her face and body? Did you know anything at all about her personality and character before you jumped into the relationship? My bet is that you didn't spend much time on any of those. Finding a mate is no different than investing... you have to do your homework, due diligence and look at all the options before you plop your hard earned money down on any given stocks. If you don't do that and you lose your shirt because you picked a loser then would you blame the entire stock market for your loss? Would that be any different than saying all women (or men) are just gold diggers?

Just a thought.

Cheers,
James聽 聽 聽Expat-blog Experts Team

As always James, you wrote an excellent post but unfortunately you waste your time on this topic.

He got so many warnings, including me but not directly, from many members to be careful and not to rush anything and most of all, to turn away, but he didn't listen. This is, of course, his right to do so聽 but please don't come back and winning.

/Primadona- Thank u for your input.

I remember your advice on my previous blog, along with the advice I was given by many other members.

Of course I never went ahead with the marriage, because I simply had little if not , no trust or faith left after my horrible experience.

I posted on this blog as a way of releasing some of that bitter and frustration for something that I had put my heart, sole and trust into, in the end for it not to work out.

James- I do take on board your first point about generalisation about a particular nation, and how it can seem unfair, but I have had 2 experiences from the same country, of which makes it difficult to trust any one from that country, especially with the reputation the women of that country have when it comes to聽 marriages with foreigners.

James- In answer to your questions about how log I had spent before I had committed myself to this woman, is pretty much summed up in the blog I had posted, to break it down, yes I spoke to her almost daily for about 6 months, this included talking on messenger, Skype, e-mails etc.

Of course as I said things all seem normal and great when u talk on line , on Skype and of course beauty of the girl is really addictive beyond other important factors which should not be overlooked.

I had no reason to believe this was going to head for a disaster. My point is I had done everything I possibly could to be satisfied of the relationship, having visited her 2 times.

The thing that really stings is that this girl's personality had changed coming closer towards the occasion, showing signs of unhappiness, no confidence or content for reasons I would never had known.

My point is if some one was never really interested in u in the first place and they never sincerely loved then, why why WASTE their time??

Hello behappy786,

Well, you wouldn't want to look for love in Brazil, no matter how beautiful the women are here if you're still judging the whole lot there by TWO bad apples.

Maybe I'm just a die-hard romantic, but I will tell you my own story just to make a point that you can't let one or two bad experiences color your entire outlook on the population in general. Like most developing nations Brazil has its share of gold diggers (of both sexes), sometimes I think more than its share!

Shortly after arriving in this country over thirteen years ago now, I met and fell immediately in love with a woman whom I believed to be the most beautiful woman I've seen in my 65 years of life (51 at that time). It was for me love at first sight (always very dangerous) and I jumped into a live-in relationship with her shortly afterwards. First big mistake on my part!

The second big mistake on my part is that I ignored all the warnings and red flags that were clearly visible. She had never married previously, but had lived with several men. However, she never had a relationship that lasted more than one year until I came along. She had two sons, by two different fathers; Danilo was 9 and Lucas 4 when I met her. They immediately started calling me "DAD", which should have been my clue that they were starved for affection, not just for a male role model. Her friends all told me that it wouldn't last, that I'd grow very tired of her attitudes and abuses. I ignored that and went from being a divorced man on my own, to a spouse with a ready made family from one day to the next. Well needless to say that everybody else was right. The relationhsip was a honeymoon for about 3 months, and turned into a HORROR MOVIE that lasted for an additional 5 years. The only reason I didn't leave sooner was because I had truly fallen in love with the boys and they had become MY sons. I couldn't bring myself to abandon them no matter how miserable I was. They were the ONLY joy I had in life. I was, by Brazilian standards, quite wealthy and gave her and the boys a life they had never had before or could ever dream of... a beautiful home (paid for in cash), cars, fine furniture, clothing and a kitchen that never lacked anything. Most of all I gave her and the boys much love, affection and attention. All to no avail, because I was just a meal ticket to her. When I couldn't take it anymore and finally left I walked away with almost nothing, even so she ended up broke inside of a year. Her whole family turned their backs on HER for what she had done, not so much to me, but to here very own sons. They still consider me family.

It took me several years to get over that painful and costly experience. I'm now almost poor by Brazilian standards, but even so I'm a thousand times happier now. I learned a very important lesson - think with your head and not with your heart, place value on those who value you and treat you well. Several years went by before I met another woman and allowed myself to let down my walls, let her get close to me. Is our relationship perfect? No, it isn't - no relationship is ever perfect. But, I'm extremely happy, we get along perfectly together despite the fact that she is 37 years my junior we also have very much in common. I know her love is genuine, because she's not checking my bank balance before she tells me she loves me, and she treats me with respect. So, life goes on... and it constantly gets better.

Would I think of branding all Brazilian women as gold diggers because I got raked over the coals by one? Not on your life! Sure there are enough of them out here, but the majority are not like that and to stereotype them as such would be grossly unfair. In the end it would just have prevented me from finding the right woman, the one that makes me wish I still had all the wealth that I squandered on the wrong woman!

Who do I blame for all of this? Do I blame her? Not a chance... she only did to me what I allowed her to do. The choices were all mine, I ignored all the signs, warnings and advice so how can I blame her? The only person to blame is myself, and I certainly can't blame all Brazilian women as you seem to be blaming all Moroccan women.

Just a thought from an older, poorer and much wiser expat than I used to be.

Cheers,
James聽 聽 聽 聽Expat-blog Experts Team

This reminds me of my American friend living in China, always ending up with the wrong woman over there, he's not blaming all chinese, he knows that as a foreigner he doesn't have what it takes to separate the good from the bad.
Siting behind a computer and thinking you will find the love of your life in a Developing country of all places is a long shot.
As the saying goes, If it's too good to be true it probably is.

shak4969 wrote:

This reminds me of my American friend living in China, always ending up with the wrong woman over there, he's not blaming all chinese, he knows that as a foreigner he doesn't have what it takes to separate the good from the bad.
Siting behind a computer and thinking you will find the love of your life in a Developing country of all places is a long shot.
As the saying goes, If it's too good to be true it probably is.

Exactly! It's difficult enough to do in person - face to face! Doing it online is probably more difficult than winning the first prize in the lottery three times in a row.

Cheers,
James

I'm afraid you were looking in the wrong place to begin with. You were simply asking for trouble. This was to be expected. It might comfort you to learn that you are not alone.

Internet Romance and Marriage Fraud

Many Americans befriend Moroccans through Internet dating and social networking sites and these relationships often lead to marriage or engagement.聽 The U.S. Consulate General in Casablanca warns against marriage fraud.聽 It is not uncommon for foreign nationals to enter into marriages with Americans solely for immigration purposes.聽 Relationships developed via correspondence, particularly those begun on the Internet, are especially susceptible to manipulation.聽 Often, the marriages end in divorce in the United States when the foreign national acquires legal permanent residence (鈥済reen card鈥�) or U.S. citizenship.聽 In some cases, the new American or permanent resident then remarries a wife he divorced before, around the same time as entering into a relationship with a sponsoring American citizen.

morocco.usembassy.gov

Exercise caution when travelling to Morocco for a relationship initiated via the internet. There have been incidents of marriage fraud and attempted extortion affecting foreign nationals. When travelling for a first visit, make sure you keep your return ticket, passport and personal belongings safe in case problems arise.

The advice was there for anyone who is interested in travelling for that purpose. It was a bad idea. Bad is probably an understatement. But anyway, nothing else to expect really. For some, it ended in catastrophic failure. Fortunately you learnt your lesson before getting married to her, and losing your assets. You would of been here asking us how to get her ass deported back to her country. Instead you're only posting about a simple warning, which I reckon most are already aware of. You should be happy I think. Things could of been a lot worse.

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XB23 wrote:

ffffffff gggggg hhhhhhhh jjjjjjjjjjjjjj kkkkkk llllllllllllll

Something wrong with your keyboard or your typing skills?

Since Souad Foukahi decided to hit the same letter multiple times, and proceeded to call me stupid, I thought if I did the same as her, hitting the same letter multiple times, I will no longer be stupid. I hit other letters too to impress her. I've earned her respect now.

That's you on that display pic isn't it. Makes sense.

Please guys, we are on a mutual aid forum, please avoid useless comments. Thank you.

shak4969 ... You're defently right聽

To add to this topic of course the very obvious thing is to pay attention to different signs that will indicate whether your relationship is genuine or not and whether the woman you are with is actually serious about marriage to you or not. But most importantly I would advise you to pay close attention to the following areas:-

1) When you have already visited the girls house and met the parents(that's of course if you were聽
聽 聽 invited to the home to meet the parents and the family), and have become officially engaged,then
聽 聽during the actual marriage process(i.e: during the time you are going back and forth to court, to the
聽 聽police station etc to get the documents required for the marriage)
聽 聽were you offered to stay at the girl's house? if not did she and the family offer to lodge you into one of
聽 聽her male relatives house? like in an uncles house or 1st, 2nd cousin's house etc? or were you simply
聽 聽just left to book yourself into a hotel?

2) Note if you have ever been invited to meet the girl's extended family or not such as the uncles,
聽 聽 aunties, cousins, nephews, nieces, grand parents, in law's, neighbours ,friends or even work
聽 聽 colleagues,?If you were not then please note this must make you release that the girl is trying her
聽 聽 best to keep you a secret and doesn't what to reveal your presence to any body. Its quiet clear is she
聽 聽is not proud to be with you and is ashamed of wanting to show you to her extended family.

3) Spending- Please be extra careful when it comes to spending, is the girl making you spend a lot
聽 聽 聽of money on her which is clearly beyond your scope and means?
聽 聽 聽If she expects you to buy her a lot of materialistic things like cloths, expensive perfumes etc
聽 聽 聽then note what exactly is she doing for you聽 in return? is she buying anything for you? even a
聽 聽 聽small gift?
聽 聽
4) Money requests- How often and what amounts of money are being requested from you?

5) Her manners- How is she behaving towards you? does she talk to you with respect and politeness? or does she talk to you disrespectfully? she is looking miserable, anxious, sad and nervous majority of the time?

If you do end up experiencing any of what I mention above, then please brace your worst fears, that
you are very likely involved in a scam relationship, and the woman you are with is only interested in you for your money and not you as a person.

I only want too share this information with any one who is in a relationship or plans to get into a relationship with such a girl because as mentioned I have already suffered huge losses in terms of financially, emotionally, having put all my effort, heart, sole and sincerity into a relationship from which I can only describe as a truly horrible experience, and believe me its truly a horrible experience to go
through.

Can I come to your house? Come on...Just a visit? I won't make it long. No? Why not? Because you don't know me? Fine. I understand.

Yet you would let someone you don't know, from a foreign country, not only come and visit, but come and live with you? How freaky is that? Does that prospect not scare you? I don't know you, but that petrifies me!

You're lucky. I suggest you keep away from these type of relationship, as you will never truly know what you're getting into. They are a disaster waiting to happen. Because you simply don't know who you're conversing with on the other side. They can have any type of mental problems, which might only reveal itself too late. An horror waiting to happen. Before you know it..

XB23- many tahnsk for your response, I totally understand how tricky it can be when getting involved in a relationship with a foriegner. How ever the point I was trying to express is that there is a certain level of care, respect that is expected to be shown towards the person who is planning to marry you, and not make them feel so unwanted as described in my post.

behappy786 wrote:

XB23- many tahnsk for your response, I totally understand how tricky it can be when getting involved in a relationship with a foriegner. How ever the point I was trying to express is that there is a certain level of care, respect that is expected to be shown towards the person who is planning to marry you, and not make them feel so unwanted as described in my post.

I wasn't even joking about the mental health problems! I've personally known one, and heard about a few other cases. One of them, the guy who bought her over, went and handed her at the immigration office, asking them to deport her, because she was causing him problems, because he said she's mental! Another, he ended up beating her up, and killing her. And another, he ended up throwing her out of his house. None of these are jokes. It does happen. They get married, don't see the problems that the woman may have, and it reveals itself in the future. And then they end up taking action. People who have mental issues, can appear normal, and then at some stage, you realize they are not normal. But it will be too late by then. Think about it. You're bringing someone to your house, that you don't know what they are truly like, as you haven't lived with them. But when you live with them, you will see things that you missed or they hid from you during your visits to them. I'm not trying to scare you. It honestly does happen. If you want, I can give you a link to watch/read for yourself.

ok, sure that's understandable. if you can send me the link you are referring to about these stories , that would be great, I would be interested to view these.

Hello all,

Please note that the first post of this thread might upset some (if not every) locals on the Morocco forum since it really about generalizing the Moroccan women.

let's drop this subject since whatever needed to be said has been said, ( venting, animosity etc ) i'll go ahead and close this thread.

Please do not hesitate to start a new topic where you can either share your expatriate experience with us聽

Best regards,
Gavind

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