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me love you long time....

yes means no and no means yes

same same but different

U want boo coo? Ten dolla now

was after posts resembling at least minor intelligence...cheers

I have a friend who can help you.

Yes I know.

Go that way one kilometer.

I have a friend who knows computers.

You're very handsome.

what I have found is that your cash is something a lot,,,, not all, people want and by being as compliant and agreeable as can be they have a chance, it's why , in the west business people and contractors do exactly the same. And once they have the moolah, just bug off. Why in the west are we all suspecting others of just being out for them selves? because that's how many of us live ourselves, yeh?

Your joking, I was a contractor for 20 years, never,ever paid upfront. At least there you have someone to go to,to try and sort out the problems, here there is no such thing. Total exaggeration Mark.

not in my experience Colin, if you reread the post you just may see (MOST)---( NOT ALL)

If you pay anyone upfront, more fool you. Most of my family were contractors, most of my friends were contractors, so with all those years of experience I can tell you, bollocks.

On a side not, when are you actually moving to VN, you have been talking about it for about three years now. Do the move and get to really know how things work here.

A lot of this comes from misunderstanding the imperfect translation between the Vietnamese word "Da" and the English word "Yes" or the more slang "Yeah." This happens with both English and Vietnamese speaking people.

Although "Da" sounds like "Yeah," "Yeah" and "Da" have very different meanings. "Da" is actually a politeness indicator. "Da Khong" looks like it translates as "Yes, No." A better translation would be, "I am being polite when I tell you No." "Da Phai" and "Vang" translate more or less as "Yes," though Vang is a more Northern term.

To continue on "Da," my favorite joke comes from a now friend who fought on the other side. Translated;

An American platoon surrounds a small suspected VC village, while most of the military aged men are able to escape, one VC and five farmers are unable to escape.

The Lieutenant commanding the platoon, has the six military aged male prisoners brought before him.

The Lieutenant asks the first prisoner, a farmer, "Are you a VC?"

Farmer,  "Da! Da! K. . ." cut off with a round through his head from the Lieutenant's 45.

This questioning continued with the same results until the actual VC prisoner was interviewed.

The Lieutenant asks the VC prisoner, "Are you a VC?"

VC, "No ! No! Me no VC"

The Lieutenant releases the VC prisoner. and reports to higher command, "Five VC killed and one loyal male villager released."

70 years old wrote:

"Da" is actually a politeness indicator. "Da Khong" looks like it translates as "Yes, No."

This drives me crazy, every time! Let me demonstrate for newbies.

My wife and I speak English, but she retains the Vietnamese answering pattern. As I understand it, a younger person is taught to say 'dạ' (pronounced 'yaa' with a low tone) first to a question to indicate "I acknowledge your question, older wise person." Then they followup with their answer.  (And if they don't know the answer, you just get the 'dạ' part. )
So for example, I ask a simple yes/no question, in English:
"Do you like chicken?" , and she says "Yes. No". 
Or a multiple choice:
"Do you want chicken or fish?" "Yes. (long pause thinking...) Fish".
Video example from .

However, isn't this just a special language confusion case of the OP topic? I think that Vietnamese either say what you want to hear for their personal business advantage. Or so as to be polite and avoid being the messenger of bad news.

I sometimes get the impression from my wife that agreeing with me - a mere foreigner would constitute a severe loss of face to my Vietnamese overlord!

gobot wrote:

70 years old wrote:

"Da" is actually a politeness indicator. "Da Khong" looks like it translates as "Yes, No."

This drives me crazy, every time! Let me demonstrate for newbies.

My wife and I speak English, but she retains the Vietnamese answering pattern. As I understand it, a younger person is taught to say 'dạ' (pronounced 'yaa' with a low tone) first to a question to indicate "I acknowledge your question, older wise person." Then they followup with their answer.  (And if they don't know the answer, you just get the 'dạ' part. )
So for example, I ask a simple yes/no question, in English:
"Do you like chicken?" , and she says "Yes. No". 
Or a multiple choice:
"Do you want chicken or fish?" "Yes. (long pause thinking...) Fish".
Video example from .

However, isn't this just a special language confusion case of the OP topic? I think that Vietnamese either say what you want to hear for their personal business advantage. Or so as to be polite and avoid being the messenger of bad news.

I don't think "Da" and language are off topic for this discussion. I do definitely agree that other factors are also involved. From my more or less limited observation since 1969 of, Viet Nam, Japan, Taiwan, Thailand and Cambodia and the Philippines, I would state that East Asians, including the Vietnamese, in general, most of the time, more or less tend to be more polite and more interested in consensus than say, Americans. So East Asian Culture also comes into play. I've dealt with enough American "Used Car Salesmen" etc. to think that Vietnamese Salesmen are significantly different than American Salesmen.

jpbsimpson wrote:

I sometimes get the impression from my wife that agreeing with me - a mere foreigner would constitute a severe loss of face to my Vietnamese overlord!

Considering that I paid two whole and healthy cows for my wife back in 1971, she has mostly been respectful to me. How many cows did you pay?

To be more serious, things in Viet Nam have changed a lot since my "war buddy" who later became my wife and I served together 1970-1971. Still, she did get two cows.

The cost for my my marriage is under evaluation and will remain so until I am told otherwise!

Seriously I was lucky to have a really great partner!

BUT IT WAS AT A COST!

Oddly enough, or not so oddly if one understands how Vietnamese families operate (I haven't run the numbers in detail) but, over all I show a solid net dollar profit from the businesses that my wife has owned.

I actually had a good job that paid well and one day my wife said, "Honey, I can't afford for you to work at that job any more. You need to quit and help me." So, the poor little Vietnamese girl marries the rich American GI and he winds up working for her in a business that she owns.

On a darker side, one of my wife's customers was a Viet Kieu who owned a small chain of jewelry stores. He retired with a few Million USD to Viet Nam, got involved with a "Bia Om" (spelling?) girl and last I heard was dead broke and living in one of his children's house.

To continue on "Da," my favorite joke comes from a now friend who fought on the other side. Translated and edited from memory;

An American platoon surrounds a small suspected VC village, while most of the military aged men are able to escape, one VC and five farmers are unable to escape.

The Lieutenant commanding the platoon, has the six military aged male prisoners brought before him.

The Lieutenant asks the first prisoner, a farmer, "Are you a VC?"

Farmer,  "Da! Da! K. . ." cut off with a round through his head from the Lieutenant's 45.

This questioning continued with the same results until the actual VC prisoner was interviewed.

The Lieutenant asks the VC prisoner, "Are you a VC?"

VC, "No ! No! Me no VC"

The Lieutenant releases the VC prisoner. and reports to higher command, "Five VC killed and one loyal male villager released."