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I've learned some important lessons since I've been back in the States.

1. The separation is destroying my marriage rather then helping it.

2. That this is NOT necessarily THE Land of opportunities at this CURRENT time and situation.
I have had three jobs, and lost them all in a matter of months.

3. Happiness is NOT in money. Happiness is not in Money. Happiness is not in MONEY.

4. Being a "couple" physically together is better then being a "couple" and living a long distance marriage--impossible.

5. Distance makes you resent each other (in a marriage).

6. Realized that there are opportunities elsewhere, MORE so then at this time.

7. America feels "lifeless" or with "no flavor". Where as life in Jordan was just so full of "flavor" and just fullness, and just had more to it--both hard times and good times.

So since I lost my jobs, I'm returning to Amman within 6 days.

1. i feel relieved, and happy
2. I feel scared that hubby will resent me in a hidden way.
3. I feel hopeful to find other opportunities.
4. I feel scared, that I will be alone again..all the time. And I don't want that.