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I think having relationships when you are an expatriate can be somehow tricky cuss have you had a thought on what happens when you finally leave for home or you are moved from there to another place..how will you cope?won't there be heartbreak?

Hi Stephanie!

I have thought about this very question recently as I have been in HCMC for only two weeks, but plan on being here for at least a year and maybe longer.  There are a few main ideas that I keep returning to: the moral responsibility of making a deep connection with someone knowing that time is somewhat limited; being respectful of a culture that is new to me and, therefore, I am wholly ignorant of; and how the other person's family will react to someone outside of their culture. This last one is fairly significant because of my country's history in this Vietnam.

However, one does get lonely and people have needs in regards to human contact, romance, sex, etc.  Moreover, there is something to be said for "living in the moment" and enjoying new opportunities.  But, there again, those concepts must be tempered by communication and responsibility.

Wow, I think I just did a lot of blabbing and blathering without providing much in the way of enlightenment.  Must be the American in me...

Hi,

  That was no babbling, but simply a wonderful, thoughtful and moral response to the question. You sound like a very decent and intelligent man.

Cheers!
Happyand Retired

Hi,
I agreed... very decent man!

Thank you, you are far too kind!  But, as the saying goes "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions."  Or, "no good deed goes unpunished."

Chock full of those euphemisms!  LOL!

Thanks again!  I hope you are both doing well!

Long distance relationship, somehow difficult, I am an Asian and my fiance is European, my fiance and I we' ve been separated for five months now but it seems we just close to each other by hearing most of the time, telling how you spend your day, what your plans on your day, etc. It really need more than 100% trust so that you can hold on with each other.
And of course you have time that you both waiting for to be together again. What important is keep hold on the communication between you two and keep the love alive even your're apart.

I can relate on that,I was once an expat to malaysia and I was totally bored when I stayed there coz all I can do is shop,watch a movie,eat and work.I do have a couple companion by that time but they have their own time to spend with.So I joined the an asian site and I met some guys there.I met this guy from the US embassy,He is from Washington and he showed me he really wanted to be with me but then I know we had only limited time and time will come that I had to go back to my country and him to his country or to another country.I don't know how to bridge the distance once I get back to my country and from my observation of couples who are having LDR?Most of them cannot really work it out.

Tales

I'm a long-term expatriate, meaning that a company didn't relocate me temporarily, I moved on my own with no definite return plan.

and now I've met someone who's not from the country where I'm living and not from my home country so it seems like it's going to extend the expatriate lifestyle to a new country for me. I'm happy with this outcome but I know it's not the life for everyone.

relationships are really hard to keep when your an expat. from my experience.

Long distance relationship are hard to handle. It depends on both of you. Both of you need to be honest, respectful, faithful, and patient. If you do that, then your relationship will last. I had a long distance relationship too, and now we live together and planning to get married in the future.

yes, it's true...It's hurt...in both sides...not only for the person who stay in country and for the person who will leave the country..it's better not to have relationship.

I still live in the uk, i made a friend in Brazil, and we were getting along real fine.

It could have turned into a LDR and the plan was for me to go over there and perhaps one day live there pemanent in retirement.
There has been lots of funny goings on with her, but after some discussion i thought that the problems had been overcome.
Tonight my suspicions and doubts were proved correct.

This i sthe 2nd time that some one abroad has not been who they say thay are.

I know my reply is not exactly expat but having a LDR seems to be too dificult to manage.

i dont think so!!!

I have lived as an expat working in different countries around the world for 34 years until I met and married my wife in Laos.

11 years on I am still working overseas but have a home and a family to go back to when I am out on leave

Relationships whilst only working and living somewhere on a temporary basis are fleeting and far between, especially when you work as I do in the mining and construction industry. You work 12+ hours a day 7 days a week in isolated locations so no time for much socializing.

ECS....we were both expats frm different countries and cultures. am in your situation and as am writing now,i am at the airport am following him to try and get a life where his new posting is.it's hectic but i guess love breaks physical,cultural boundaries.i love it!

Well i believe that if your meant to be, well your meant to be. I have a 3 year boyfriend who is in Canada and we still love each other. Being in a distant relationship is really hard but, as long as you have trust and love each other, that would break the boundaries.

I agree with our friend aka "the decent man". However I would just like to share some thoughts about it being an expat myself.

I think the practical way is knowing what you really want for yourself. Because by the end of the day you could do all of whats been said up there about morals and social norms of that particular place etc and manipulate it to reach your "lets call it Target".

The way I see it, change is the only thing that is constant. You just need to be sure of what you want so you dont drag the other person into something he or she does not really want or may regret.

To summerize all of this. "responsibility".

Hi i'm new on this forum , i had relations over seas i'm an Aussie guy -- you know i never knew these forums existed?  but i never went looking for them either,,,  really ,can anybody on here tell me ..........why can't i find  Australians living in Russia / St Petersburg etc!( WHERE ARE THEY HIDING)  its 2011  should be communities everywhere ~  its not 1965 dark cold war lol lol
Believe me according to our government stats there is More than quiet a few living there,  but come hell or high water-- i can't find them !ive tried on and off for ten years to find them, i think ive got more chance finding the cup that jeses drank from than finding a fellow Aussie in the street in Russia??
I lived Russia so long & so many times i lost count of the months, but i never ever seen an Australian? and i must admit i never seen many of any breed of Expats - by god i tried everything to find some, but i failed miserably !

Relationships overseas its hard to keep going you need a lot of trust happening there

Welcome on ½ûÂþÌìÌà history1930

May be you shall also post your message on the Russia forum.

I guess this link:Australian expatriates in Russia network shall help you to find some Australian contacts in Russia.

Regards

I CONTACTED THAT LINK WEEKS AGO  THEY DO NOT EVER ANSWER EMAIL  - THAT I GARRANTEE !
THANKS

Hello history1930,

Please avoid cap lock when posting on the forum. Thanks for your kind comprehension.

easy to find but hard to leave..

Relationships when ur expatriate.. hmmm in my opinion, it seems impossible to keep relationship oversea.. they just live in a city for a couple of years.. start the relationship is easy, but when theyr gone.. its really hurt and difficult to forget them   and then will have 2 ways.. break up or will keep a distance relationship.. and being in a distant relationship is really hard 
coz many unexpected things will happen and u have to trust ur partner. Trust is important to any relationship but it really does get tested with any long distance relationship.. and most of distance relationships end by breaking up >.<

My relationship is not a long distance one but still, it has thousands problems. So, as long as you guys trust, love and care for each other deeply down from hearts, a long lasting distance relationship may appear...Why not?
Infact, for my case, when you love someone truly, you'll be ready to sacrifice anything and everything. A long distance relationship has difficulties at the beginning when you guys dont really know your partners...

Well for me all that matters is a trust and intact communication to keep the relationship strong.

Hi, I'm a british-born asian hindu of mauritian descent and my partner is swedish-born of swedish/finnish descent. I found that, as an expat, the ideal partner would be one who also fully enjoyed living life as an expat, as my partner does. After a few relationships with ladies whom such a life did not appeal to them, I finally struck upon my partner who shared the same enthusiasm I had.. of travelling, moving, foreign countries etc. Of course we also share many other attributes and traits. We've been together now for 5 years, lived in UK, Finland, Mauritius, Hong Kong and China, and still going strong and happy with each other. Maybe this knowledge will help some of you!

Why worry so much about what would happen in future?  Just indulge in here and now. Oh tell me lovers in NYC. You live there for eternity. Would you be concerned of a departing loved one. Departure could be in soul and physics.  Tell me how many married couples who are living under one roof for years and they live worlds apart.

In relatioship, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Long live my beloved Ibn Al Rumi.

For one passing moment, whether you are an expat or not, connection to another human being is to be connected to who you are. For that matter,Carpe diem

For those who are not familiar with the term Carpe Dieam, here a nice explanation:

  'the phrase is part of the longer Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero – "Seize the Day, putting as little trust as possible in the future"'