Talking about money with Filipino relatives?

Post new topic

RyanUt Member

Member since 07 May 2022

RyanUtMember07 May 2022 18:33:22

Hi, I'm currently married and living in the USA.聽 My spouse is Filipino, from Cebu City.聽 We hope to move to the Philippines at some point, but only after working and saving more here.聽 I'm looking for help understanding some budding family drama, not necessarily looking for solutions but I want to understand better what's going on.

In a nutshell: my husband has money in a bank account in the Philippines, and his family is coming after it, and saying "no" is straining his relationship with his siblings and parents.

Details, if you're curious: the money was originally going into a house purchase, but that's been cancelled, money refunded, so now it's sitting in the bank.聽 We plan to use it at some point as a down payment for another property, no definite timeline, but possibly within the next few years.聽 I've told my husband that he's the one who saved the money so I won't try to tell him how to use it or who to share it with, I'll support him whatever he decides to do with it.聽 Also for context, we do send his family money somewhat regularly, and have told them we'll always do everything we can to help if there's an emergency.聽

Mostly I'm confused because my husband has said a few times that the language (Cebuano) isn't conducive to communicating his thoughts and feelings on the subject with his family, specifically that he saved that money for a purpose and it's not just sitting there looking for ways to be used.聽 He hasn't been able to articulate to me specifically what language barriers get in the way.聽 Does anyone have any insight about this?聽 I keep thinking there must be a way to communicate and get everyone to at least understand each other, but he insists it's just not going to happen.聽 Has anyone else had this kind of language barrier issue?聽 Or is it more likely related to culture? or just their individual attitudes?

Lat61 Contributor

Member since 01 November 2019

Lat61Contributor08 May 2022 04:08:44

170

Once the handouts start, they only get worse. Why work, free money. Also, jealousy play a part. He got so much, so should I. Good luck with that cluster, I mean In-laws.

Lat61 Contributor

Member since 01 November 2019

Lat61Contributor08 May 2022 04:09:52

170

Also move over one Island from them. At least 1/2 days drive or all day by bus.

sinsinbad New member

Member since 10 May 2021

sinsinbadNew member15 May 2022 19:15:53

I think that most Filipinos live in the here and now.聽 By that I mean, they don't think about the future.聽 Your spouse has money just sitting there doing nothing (to them).聽 So, it should be used.

Let me give you some real examples.聽 A Filipina is working and living on her on.聽 She sees shoes that she likes and buys them.聽 But then she doesn't have money to pay her rent.

Another one is a foreigner helping his spouse or family with a sari sari store.聽 He buys them a place and stocks it.聽 A month later, they need money to buy stock.聽 He asks what did you do with the money from your sales.聽 They used it to buy other things.

Planning/saving for the future is not a common thing in the PH.

coach53 ViP

Member since 17 December 2020

coach53ViP18 May 2022 13:43:52

1564

Bad he has told his relatives there are money.聽

As said - settle far away from the relatives.聽

He saying it cant be told in Cebuano I count as BS聽 BUT he try to get away from he has problem explaining it to YOU聽聽

聽 but it isnt聽 Cebuano, its a CULTURE thing.

If you are tough enough, I recomend do as the plan for myself

Tell you spouse to blame you saying No, because in Filipino culture its very hard to say No to relatives, because the one with money is expected to pay for all.聽聽

PARTLY its in the LAW too to the closest, but the law is unclear to what level.

BUT LAZY ones often dont know/forget聽

聽聽that law is only valid for them who do their best themselves...聽聽(Beside OLD parents.)

Articles to help you in your expat project in Manila

Accommodation in Manila
There are lots of renting options to choose from when relocating to Manila. Most expats in the Philippines live in ...
Studying in Manila
With more than a hundred universities dotted around the city, Metro Manila is very much the center of higher ...
Work in Manila
Manila, also referred to as the National Capital Region, is the capital city of the Philippines and the ...
Things to do in Manila alone
Manila is a bustling and multicultural city.聽 There is a plethora of activities in Manila to awaken the ...
Student life in Manila
Student life in Manila is relatively cheap and covers a wide range of activities that will surely pique an ...
Buying property in Manila
Buying a property is a big and exciting step, but navigating the rules and regulations in a new country can be a ...
Developing a professional network in Manila
It might be challenging to establish a professional network, especially when relocating to Manila. But if you know ...
Choosing your neighbourhood in Manila
Choosing a neighborhood is one of the most critical decisions that expats need to make when moving to Manila. Each ...