禁漫天堂

Too bad about the informal caste system but yes I see it. In fact as an expat you're also part of it!

The question is how you deal with that without being disrespectfull.

For me adapting to a culture is a must, taking over their bad habits is not.

I think for me the hardest part of adaptation is to find where the line between friendly/honest and friendly/dishonest people is. It depends on the person, not his status. Real trust is more difficult here and only proven over time. It is what it is. If I would think I am better than the other person I would have an attitude problem.

Every word of that is just as true in the USA- there鈥檚 nothing uniquely Dominican about being betrayed by people you trust and there鈥檚 certainly no tie in to trustworthiness that correlates with your 鈥渃lass鈥� or education or socio economic status !

@Papito NL exactly- but what聽 you describe is true of every country in the world. There鈥檚 nothing inherently, more dishonest about Dominicans and theres certainly nothing more inherently untrustworthy among poor Dominicans versus wealthy Dominicans.

聽 聽 @Papito NL exactly- but what聽 you describe is true of every country in the world. There鈥檚 nothing inherently, more dishonest about Dominicans and theres certainly nothing more inherently untrustworthy among poor Dominicans versus wealthy Dominicans.
聽 聽

聽 聽 -@Mark Mclaurin

Yes thats basically what I meant to say.

It is just too easy to generalise and draw conclusions; All wealthy Dominicans have done more bad things to become that wealthy. If I were in the US I would not send my children to a school because likely they will be shot. Immigrants are the cause of all problems everywhere. /!\ I AM A STUPID SPAMMER /!\ rule the world and the earth is flat.

Being careful is good, being paranoid will not help.

Lol! Exactly !!

@Mark Mclaurin

I agree with your first statement, but it is common here. Nearly everyone has got stringed here and its pretty normal.

Trustworthiness and class though, I have to say I disagree here. Someone who is better off here is less inclined to rip you off do to them having enough money for their needs, they're not hungry enough until you start getting into business.

Let's get back to the original subject please. How do you or did you adapt

@T.DRRR

sadly, you are right on many counts.聽 superficially, Dominicans are great folks. they are fun people, and they will show you kindnesses at many turns.聽 if your car gets a flat on the highway, they will pull over and help you change the wheel.聽 they will come to your house and jump start your car.聽 if your washing machine breaks, they will stop by your house and fix it..they make for great buddies.

the irksome part is聽 when the trust issue rears its ugly head...when you need to believe in a friend...that is where the crap hits the fan..i know that this is going to rub a lot of people the wrong way, but聽 in MY experince Dominicans are not familiar with the concepts of honor, trust and faithfulness...they will sell you down the river , to perect strangers, for a few pesos,聽 this might not be everyone's experiences, but i have learned the hard way , many a time and oft. i have a few Dominican buddies...the friend thing is a different matter.

i am going to take a lashing for saying these things, so get your whips at the ready.

Dominicans, superficially, are great buddies, and will do you many different kindnesses. if your car stops on the highway they will pull over and help you get it running.聽 they will help you change a flat tire...they will come to your house聽 and help fix the washing machine. then they will invite you to their house for a steaming聽 bowl of sancocho..sounds real good.

the grief starts when the concept of trust is introduced. honor, faithfulness and fidelity are in woefully short supply. you could be their friend for decades and they will sell you out to a perfect stranger if it helps them make 100 pesos. then they will look you square in the eyes and deny it..i have a few Dominican buddies. friends? i'll pass.

ignore one of my posts, or both. i made the second post because i did not see the first one...

good night.

Against n that is NOT the purpose of this thread!聽

How did you adapt?

鈥楶ace鈥檋as a rather聽 broad definition

A 鈥減ace鈥� is a metaphor for the rhythm of life we sustain.

Allows many answers

OK how do we adapt to those points mentioned.. It's important to have friends you trust, Expat friends are great cause even if you can speak Spanish it always feels better in English ( my native language )聽 something about familiarity right? learning to be a Camillion in most social interactions will help too learn what's normal and wrong and try to abide by that and not get offended when you hold a door open for someone and they don't even acknowledge the deed or other things like this lol. De-stress; exercise try to get some quiet time.Go back to your country we have Arajet running now from SD to Toronto to YYZ for 100 USD are you kidding?! this is dinner money. Take the opportunity and get your refreshments.

Honestly, best thing is life is having a solid network of people you trust - I notice the expats here including myself sometimes we get a little "duro" here, we kind of retract and walk around with a chip on our shoulder from getting screwed so much swimming upstream all the time but I think it's important to communication with friends and family and find your group here.

Last thing cruffman mentioned - They are nice over a beer yes I agree and that's where we should leave it most times, you can be friends with someone without them knowing every detail about your life and still enjoy their occasional company.

In fact I have had far far more issues trusting expats!!!

Adjusting for me was learning the hard way trust is earned by everyone!

Someone once told me the way to learn who is actually your friend - lend them 1,000 RD.聽 If it never returns you know who they are. Inexpensive test!

@planner

i've never had issues with expats. although I am picky about who I hang out with regardless of nationality.

I agree that not all expats can be trusted! I think many people here view familiarity (same language/culture/etc.) as credibility! That can bite you in the ass if you aren鈥檛 careful!

We built a house here and have hired many companies! Our builder and several other vendors have been Dominican. Were they slow, show up late, leave early, have to redo work? Sure, some times, but overall, we鈥檝e been happy with the work after adapting to their cultural norms and learning that ma帽ana doesn鈥檛 mean tomorrow, it just means 鈥渘ot today鈥�.

We had two major parts of our construction that were contracted with expat owned and operated companies. One was German, the other Italian, both well established here for years! We got totally screwed by both! Inferior products, incompatible products, incomplete installations, broken promises, delays after delays!

We鈥檝e also talked to other expats about doing work for us. You ask the right questions and quickly find out that they are selling services that they are not qualified to perform. Many view this country as the wild, wild West, with no rules or regulations, where they can be whatever they want to be by just saying so! Who is going to stop them?

And鈥�so many expats are here illegally! We had a guy from the UK that bid on the construction of our house. He had never done anything more than a cosmetic renovation (no structural work at all) and he thought he could build our house! He didn鈥檛 have residency, didn鈥檛 have a company here, and wanted payment in cash because he didn鈥檛 even have a bank account here! Needless to say, he was quickly out of the running! Although people overstay all the time and are allowed back in, some have been stopped and I wasn鈥檛 going to take a chance on him going off on holiday and not being allowed back to finish my house!

Great first hand knowledge!

Something to consider....... nothing is consistent here. A "developed" society strives to be consistent, timely, ordered. These are cornerstones of the culture and it is hard to adapt if they do not exist.

Repeatable processes, standards, timing, or anything structured is not a priority in DR.

I am careful providing recommendations for anything here anymore since someone may not get the same product as I may have. No consistency.

Regarding ex-pats I think you have to consider why some of them are here in the first place.

And I need to add that culture is localized to some extent. My experience here is mainly a small tourist town on the North Coast.聽 ;0)

I like this one too, it is very true:

"ma帽ana" doesn't mean tomorrow, it just means 鈥渘ot today鈥�.

Good comments Rocky.聽 I have adapted by fine tuning my response to no standards and inconsistency.

I have learned to go in nice and friendly, often in a dress and heels.聽 I explain my issue and ask for it to be fixed.聽 Next visit a tad more assertive. Third visit now I am pissed and I turn into the gringa from hell!聽 聽They want to fix my issue so they never have to see me again!!!!聽 馃ぃ馃ぃ it's a process!!!

Hello everyone,

Please note that some off-topic posts were removed from this thread. We would appreciate if you could stick to the topic. Furthermore, it seems that the off-topic posts were quite confrontational and do not benefit members.

Regards

Bhavna

For me 2 most annoying things in DR are

Noise music in hood not respect my quiet freedom and how they drive

Caos

Rest is nothing for me

Coruption or violence I dont care everywhere exist more or lees..

But one day I promise if neighbor will be listening music until 2 or 3am like for concierto probably I will go .. ..him

Hope trujillo will back one day:)

@T.DRRR

I hate to agree with you T. DRRR but what you say is true, having experienced things like you illustrated.聽 While this is good to know as a caution, as said it here often, learn or live with it, or you will never be happy and you might as well go somewhere else.

i may not be able to contribute as much since ive only been back 2 weeks but heres my 2 cents...first i have family here. me and my family used to come here every year till i was 15. im 35 now. i still remember alot of the same people and am currently staying with my uncle as my spot is getting fixed up. Everyone knows my uncle and those who dont already know me are knowing that im his nephew. so i have somwhat of a buffer. also im in the south. la romana. only dominicans.

im noticing the slownest of everything. took 3-4 days to get my bank account cause they were giving me problems that could have been fixed the first day with better clear communication. me and the lady are actually cool now cause she seen i was persistent with her. same with renting the location im going to be at(2 streets down from my families house) the lawyer took her sweet time providing me the papers to connect my light.

the restaurants, it depends where you go. if your spending 800rd and up they are pretty attentive. not to say the 200rd places are not but its more likely to be aplace were it can get slow. i find you just have to be more aggressive sometimes. not disrespectful but aggressive. you kinda have to be comfortable with getting a lil aggressive. you get more respected. i can see how it can be difficult if spanish does not come as easy. i still struggle with it from time to time.

the product/ services, from this point im going to be ordering my products threw bmcargo. set my account yesterday. been getting waxed on some products so i have to make the adjustment. that 18% can really ware you down. the only real benifit is the labor. you can find good labor for cheap(which was the point of me coming). for example, i get my hair braided regularly. what id pay $70 and up and $200 and up costs $20. still blows minds for me because the braids are up to par with what im used to. and im demanding. not gone lie. but i tip and they are appreciative.

the people, like i stated alot of people know my uncle. constantly get acknowledged in the street when we are out but hes the first to say dont trust anyone like that. he lives alone because he have learned the hard way. ofcourse he has his solids but nowhere near the amount that knowledge him. i refer to him whenever i can to get some kind of background with whoever tries to get close and also when im thinking about getting close. i know there will be things i will have to learn on my own. i will do what i can to reduce the blow tho. i dress really down but but am still clean so i still stand out which can work both ways. doesn't help i have chinky eyes and light skin so i get the occasional double take lol

thats all i really have for now. idk if i would be considered an expat. i was born in the us but family is Dominican and been living in us most all my life. i do plan on spending a considerable amount of time here from now on as well. leaving in december for 2 weeks then will return back whenever business is needed to be handled.

Interesting perspective for sure!聽 聽No you would not be considered expat here as you are Dominican.聽 Yet you are not quite Dominican either!聽 Your experiences and insights are very welcome here.

@planner

I figured it came from Big Popi Ortiz!

Now that made me LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!