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imincontrol wrote:

I have had a friend (that I made online) offer to come from Drobeta to Brasov to help me on arrival since he is a native Romanian.  He stressed he would do this free of charge.  I offered to pay for his train ticket and a place to stay while in Brasov because I think that’s appropriate.  He refused and said it’s like a partial vacation.  If this were another American I was talking to then I would insist that I cover their trip since the timing of the trip is being based on helping me (he had a general trip to Brasov planned for just sometime this winter).  I haven’t mentioned paying for anything since because I don’t know what’s appropriate there.

Should I be more insistent?  Would that make me a pushy jerk?  Am I rude for not insisting?  Should I just plan to pay for meals and such when we’re out?  Anyone have any experience or advice?

I certainly understand and agree with your point of view on this.  I would feel the same way.  Mrs. Romaniac said that you should bring it up and let them know that you'd be more comfortable about the arrangement if you took care of his costs.  If he still refuses, then at least grab the checks when you eat or go anywhere, or maybe find a great gift at the least.

She also made a good point.  Don't know how well or for how long you've known this online friend, but as generally good advice for meeting "online" folks, beware of ulterior motives.  Maybe, and hopefully, they are being genuine in their offer to help out and everything goes well.

Romaniac
Expat-Blog Experts Team

I think you should tell your Romanian friend coming over to help you "ÃŽÅ£i fac cinste" (meaning "I'll treat you"), he will understand that you intend to return his service by treating him at a restaurant with a dinner.

With this being said, I would also advice to pay attention that there may be ulterior motives. Your gut should help you in these kinds of situations. As a native Romanian, I would advice you to just not look too helpless and inexperienced to him, show him that you have done some of your homework before coming here.

Good luck !

Thanks for the replies!  I'll bring it up with him again once I have a date set in stone.  I have talked with him quite a bit and for quite a while now, so I hope I have any "angle" covered, but I will be on my toes 

My two cents on this.

Even if he doesn't have surface ulterior motives, he's a human being and will expect something on the long run, basically he'll consider you owe him.

My advice, and I hope you'll take it if not too late, is to be tough on him and tell him you can't accept such a big favor without at least paying for his gas/train/housing. And that if the does not accept this, you will refuse his help and try to get by by yourself.

I'm the kind of guy that would help you for free, but I'll understand if and why you'd push to pay me back. On the long run it's better like this for everyone involved.