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How to Be a Good Neighbour

Being on bad terms with your neighbour can make your life frustrating, day after day. But taking the time to establish good terms with your neighbours has numerous benefits. The community will be friendlier, the neighbourhood safer, and the area a nicer and more comfortable place to live.

1
Introduce yourself. Whether you're new in the neighborhood or new residents have just moved in on your block, introduce yourself. Say hello, offer a welcoming gift (the classic homemade pie never fails) and share or ask about the local area: "Where's the nearest pizzeria?" or "The garbage truck comes by on Tuesdays and Fridays, usually around 10 in the morning, but sometimes he sneaks in at 8."

2
Consider your neighbors' lifestyle. Get to know your neighbours--what they do for a living, what their schedules might be like, and so on. Sometimes, you can remedy problems before they even start; for example, if they work nights, quiet mornings will be important for them. If they have young children, quiet evenings will be very important to them. Similarly, give them information that'll help them be more considerate of your lifestyle. If you do a lot of yard work, or if your teenage son plays the drums, let them know in advance and mention that if it's getting too loud, they shouldn't hesitate to let you know.

Hi Razaraz2641,

Your topic has been moved to the Expat Cafe - open discussions as it is a rather general one not particularly related to expatriation. You will be able to share your views freely on this thread.

all the best,
Bhavna

yes l did one of my neghber l did help here to start here car she was happy and my turn my car battery was down and l did find to help me to start it .
helping ppl it is nice thing to do

I live in a small town, roughly 7800 inhabitants, so we are a tight community and we are forever helping each other out. Neighbours are forever asking each other to take in a package from the post service as they are out at work or have another appointment somewhere. This is what makes Austria such a pleasant place to live. The country is small anyway. So generally everyone looks out for each other. I am not too sure about the bigger cities though.

I always help my neighbours as good as I can - after all, I may need them also one day ...

I do Agree with your opinion Neighbor should help their Neighbors.

3
Be aware of shared walls. If you're in a terrace, condominium, semi-detached house or any structure where you and your neighbors share adjacent living spaces, position noisy household appliances such as washing machines and tumble dryers - even TVs and speakers - away from partition walls. If you live above someone, consider putting linoleum or rubber matting underneath your appliances to deaden or muffle the noise, and remember that someone downstairs can hear you walking around (so minimize how often you wear high heels indoors, for example).

There's a Dutch saying: better a good neighbour than a far friend.

It covers pretty much everything.

well said....

AS an Expat in the DR you find you rely on your neighbors a lot.  Sometimes your life can literally depend on it.  Here the community is very close and always willing to help each other

Bob K

4
Control your dog. Keep your dog on a leash if it has a habit of running rampant on your neighbors' lawns, especially if they have a cat or a dog of their own, and make sure to clean up after it. If you have a particularly noisy dog, this may also become a source of contention for your neighbor. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how upset you'd be if you or perhaps your newborn was woken from a much-needed nap by the sudden yapping of a nearby dog. If you have problems controlling your dog's barking or whining, consider seeking advice from your local vet or a local animal organisation.

Hi!
my collegues and I, were in Spain. The last day , wa called our Spanish neighbour to help us to cleaning the house .He came and started to clean the fireplace.
After a while we saw fire in the garbage bin of the Residential quarter We put out the fire then we started to imagine what newspappers can wrote
" 4 Tunisians terrorits tried to burn a residential quarter before they left Spain "
it was so funny

Hahahhahahaha

Yes Move - Ha ha ha ha!

Getting on with your neighbours is ideal, however there always neighbours who are self-centred and do what they please without consideration.
Noisy screaming kids.
Dogs that bark and never told to stop
parking on your house frontage
Screaming and yelling kids in their swimming pool and having half the streets kids in the pool
Talking loudly on patios late at night

I could go on I just hope those inconsiderate people who do this realise one day they will grow old and hope for a quiet existence with their neighbours.
I think the current generation are simply me, me, me; with few exceptions (perhaps I judge them all the same) please prove me wrong ( invite other pensioners to comment).
I get on with nearly all my neighbours, and it is just a couple who are nuisances.
Yes we help neighbours as we nearly all get on well.

Talking of self-centered "me, me, me":
You seriously want to forbid kids from being kids, dogs from doing what nature has made them for, and all others around you from having a normal, happy life, just because YOU are overly sensitive to noise?
Why don't YOU just move away? Your ex-neighbours would thank you.

We calculate 'neighbors' into decisions just like accommodations, water, electricity.  So far we've had good relations with our immediate neighbors...we're all expats from various places, different ages, living on a little hill.  HOWEVER, my husband gets pretty mad (and I try to keep the peace...) when it seems that everyone is doing whatever they want with little consideration for others. It seems to be the norm.  Our closest neighbor used our empty lots to access theirs in order to build their house because their drive was too steep...and destroyed the common road used by everyone in our barrio...BUT, we had discussed this and their builder addressed it pretty promptly...as with any relationship, communication is key...but as thanks, they have informed us that they are moving their guest house back to our property line right next to our future build spot.  It's the only build spot with an ocean view because the other neighbors built their 3 story house perfectly placed to block our view (our house was already there)...and they would have had an identical view from a bit further back...*sigh*  That was ok...since we could still see the ocean from our pool deck right through their chicken coop...placed exactly in the corner through which we had a partial view...and then they built a wall...blocking that partial view...WITH stones from our walls that we had broken up to use on our future build.  So, needless to say the value of neighbors is sinking as our property continues to be devalued through them...We are looking at other lots nearby for a future build...but, building in isolation outside of gated communities has its own risks.

beppi wrote:

Talking of self-centered "me, me, me":
You seriously want to forbid kids from being kids, dogs from doing what nature has made them for, and all others around you from having a normal, happy life, just because YOU are overly sensitive to noise?
Why don't YOU just move away? Your ex-neighbours would thank you.

"Just move"?    Where can you move where they are no dogs?

I agree with "Carlefarlie" about the dogs. People that own them need to have consideration for others by taking responsibility for things in their lives.

As to kids making noise. I suspect that is not happening all the time. That is something one just has to deal with.  But dogs do not have to be allowed to bark.

An example of being inconsiderate, "beppi":  What happens if I live next door to you and I start playing loud music during the day and night. I am absolutely sure you would get pissed off at me. Now this is something I can take responsibility for. In other words I can control my behavior so that I am  not impacting on your peaceful living. How is this any different than dogs making noise?

MikeGB wrote:

Where can you move where they are no dogs?

Muslims consider dogs "Haram" or unclean, therefore most Muslim countries have no or few dogs.
I am actually more concerned about the poo and pee, which they tend to leave even where kids play in the grass.

MikeGB wrote:

What happens if I live next door to you and I start playing loud music during the day and night. I am absolutely sure you would get pissed off at me.

We have an obnoxious neighbour across the road who complains about every single barely audible murmur - even though the police (whom she called a few times) came and told her that it is at an acceptable level.
We love music and considered renting out the house next to ours (which we also own, and share a wall with) to a concert pianist and music professor, among other things to piss her off. Unfortunately he didn't take up our offer.

In my street, I have a motorbike repair shop open 15 hours a day, a fried chicken stall cooking from 6am to 8pm, A coconut store chopping coconuts all day and night. A small grocery store. A propane gas and bottled water store, plus the ongoing onslaught of Indonesian food vendors pushing their carts all day. Now, there are small trucks that park up and fry food outside the house, make and sell food and then go. There are the locals who earn money by singing and pushing a huge amplifier and are paid probably to go away. Its also a rat run so always cars and small trucks and there are at least 8 mosques which invite me to pray nearly all time, and a small van that rides around preaching sermons. No dogs though.
The noise is so loud at times we don't bother with the sound on the TV as there is no point. However, I am never hungry, never thirsty, the bike works, the gas never runs out, I can open the gate and food appears. Magic.

Somedays, road get closed for weddings or funerals and prayer and the odd music event which is at the end of my street and blasts out music from 5pm to 10pm. Fireworks are let off whenever someone seems to have some.

The mosques help know the time and I know when it is after 10pm as the Satay stalls arrive with their car horns.

As for helping the neighbours, Well, I block the front of our house to stop people parking. I buy from stores outside. I donate money to help pay for the volunteer street cleaners as well as the ongoing street cleaners. I don't complain (main thing) and I smile and say hello to all.  And being the only western person living in this area for probably 3 sq KM everyone leaves me alone.

Oh and despite all that I really enjoy living there. Why? Well, in England I lived in a Cul De Sac. No noise except the bin lorry every Thursday for 20 minutes. Nothing. Jakarta, having 20 minutes of silence is great.

5
Practice parking etiquette. When you park your vehicle, be sure not to block anyone's access, or make them have to pull out of a very tight spot. Don't over-rev the engine of your car or motorcycle early in the morning or late at night. Park in front of your home, not theirs. Avoid slamming your doors or shining your headlights into your neighbor's windows late at night.

beppi wrote:

We have an obnoxious neighbour across the road who complains about every single barely audible murmur - even though the police (whom she called a few times) came and told her that it is at an acceptable level.
We love music and considered renting out the house next to ours (which we also own, and share a wall with) to a concert pianist and music professor, among other things to piss her off. Unfortunately he didn't take up our offer.

Your objective should not be to piss people off. You should, rather, try and reach an agreement with your neighbor. If the police had to be called I would suggest that you are playing your music much too loud.

I love music as well, but I consider that I have neighbors that may not like listening to the same music that I like listening to. If I want to play my music louder, I close my doors and windows. And if I was really interested in loud music that I knew would cause problems for others I would install some sound proofing in my living space so that it absorbs the sound preventing it from bothering others.

Primadonna wrote:

There's a Dutch saying: better a good neighbour than a far friend.

It covers pretty much everything.

Yes - so true!

MikeGB wrote:

Your objective should not be to piss people off. You should, rather, try and reach an agreement with your neighbor. If the police had to be called I would suggest that you are playing your music much too loud.

You are of course right in principle - but you don't know this neighbour (whom the local kids call "the witch", not only because of her looks):
She has started fights with all around her (in an otherwise very friendly neighbourhood).
An example: We had some workers (who did not know her) repairing our house while running a radio at normal volume (indoors!). She came, furious as usual, demanding the noise to stop. They said this is acceptable and they won't switch it off. Then she called the police, who came, listened  and told her the same. She then, knowing that I was on out of the country on business, sent me an angry email about "unacceptable noise" and the workers' refusal to stop it. Of course I called them immediately, but after hearing the story I had a good laugh and told them to continue.
By now, our codeword for having a BBQ on the patio is "Should we annoy the witch today?" (And if we do, all the other neighbours will join.)

beppi wrote:

MikeGB wrote:

Your objective should not be to piss people off. You should, rather, try and reach an agreement with your neighbor. If the police had to be called I would suggest that you are playing your music much too loud.

You are of course right in principle - but you don't know this neighbour (whom the local kids call "the witch", not only because of her looks):
She has started fights with all around her (in an otherwise very friendly neighbourhood).
An example: We had some workers (who did not know her) repairing our house while running a radio at normal volume (indoors!). She came, furious as usual, demanding the noise to stop. They said this is acceptable and they won't switch it off. Then she called the police, who came, listened  and told her the same. She then, knowing that I was on out of the country on business, sent me an angry email about "unacceptable noise" and the workers' refusal to stop it. Of course I called them immediately, but after hearing the story I had a good laugh and told them to continue.
By now, our codeword for having a BBQ on the patio is "Should we annoy the witch today?" (And if we do, all the other neighbours will join.)

If she's so ridiculous, why spend your energy on her, as you seem to be?

With such a neigbour, I'll make it a challege to make her my best friend...lol

6
Alert your neighbor to parties. If you're planning a party, be sure to give your neighbours plenty of warning, letting them know when it's going to start and how long you expect it to go on. Leave them a telephone number to contact if they need to ask you to turn it down. If you get on well with your neighbours, why not invite them too? When it comes to the party itself, stick to your agreed arrangements and ask your guests to be considerate when leaving.

7
Keep your yard and garden tidy. Weed your garden regularly, because the presence of weeds in your yard is not only unsightly but can also spread to your neighbor's yard. Mow your lawn regularly and keep your flowers, trees and bushes trimmed appropriately. Put equipment away as soon as you're finished with it. Ask if your neighbor has chemical sensitivities, small children or pets before applying pesticides.

8
Control your bonfire, barbecue or backyard fire. Position it where the smoke and smell will least likely blow onto your neighbor's property. As with parties, notify them in advance of your intentions, since they might have been planning to dry their clothes outside on that very same day!

9
Put rubbish/garbage out on the right day. Only put your rubbish/garbage out on the day it's due for collection. If you accidentally miss the collection, bring it back onto your property immediately and try to contain it well. Garbage can attract vermin, insects, and other pests, and is also unsightly. Keep your trash area clean and debris free. Wash your garbage cans if they begin to smell.

10
Communicate with your neighbor. Above all, touch base with your neighbors regularly and keep them in the loop. Remember the golden rule and if anything you are planning to do may affect them, minimize it and let them know in advance. Keep the channels of communication open by reminding them that if you're doing anything which disturbs them, they should feel comfortable approaching you about it.

Define what you mean by "neighbor."

"Vietman" you don't know what "neighbor" does mean?

I know what it means. But I want the OP's definition. Because it means a lot of different things depending on context.

For example, I could say China was my neighbor since it's next to Vietnam.

"Vietman" if you just have a look on all comments by different people or their opinion is reflecting only a person who lives in the house, flat, etc, next to one's home.
Hope you understand now what we are discussing or sharing thoughts.
Thanks for asking :-)

Are we talking like adjacent to your home, or just on the same block?

Anything related to Topic "help a neighbor" comes under it, welcome here... :-)

Yes, I do every day. I teach my neighbors.