Hi/Salam,
I know this thread has come up plenty and I have read many of them. Im looking for insight. I think its always a good idea to get others perspectives even though you all may be a stranger, Im confident that many of you have possibly gone through this situation.
I meet a man on a Muslim dating site about a month ago. He was immediately upfront as to the fact that he is currently married, the reasons whe he wants a second wife, his financial and work situation ( he has been working in Dubai for almost 15 yrs). He has shown me various documents, such as all his id's and his work schedule. I truley feel that he has laid it all out on the table and truley a good Muslim man. He did say that he was upfront with his current wife as she has known that he has been looking for the last 3 yrs. He is 44 and Im 47. This isnt my first rodeo in the muslim matrimonial arena.
This may actually be more about a personal decision on how much I want to go through to marry this man. I feel very confident as to his honesty. He mentioned that he wanted to visit in the winter and I asked him who will pay for the ticket and he said for me not to worry that he will take care of it.
The issue is what will my life look like. It has become clearer the more we talk that ideally he would like to eventually move to the US after his financial obligations in Dubai are complete anywhere from 1-3 yrs. He would like for us to have a business in the US that makes enough money for us all. I get no red flags when it comes to having a lawyer involved in the business to make sure we are both recipients of said business.
My concerns are if he is already married in Egyot I would have to lie to my home country , and as a Muslim Im not willing to do that, Not even just as a human being, Its headache I dont want. He is also stating that his wife and 4 children will stay in Egypt come this summer and that his family will be supportive of her as well as his finances but that he will see them once every 8 months and that I can certainly travel with him to Egypt to visit. Moral dilemma for me and I have asked him, " how can you expect wife no 1 to be basically a single parent??? His response was he wont be alone. I think of what it will do to his children, and although he seems really wonderful , the lack of priority parental involvment concerns me.
Im feeling like at my age, I just dont have the get up and go to start a business, one of which isnt necessarily a passion, who has the money to start said business, how long before we can actually live together and with him being married the reality is he cant obtain residences here.
I think I know my answers, its just to much hassle and headache to deal with and the reality is his current marriage basically puts it all to a halt. Thank you in advance for reading and giving insight.
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