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I’m British Pakistani and there are some horror stories about scams on all sides. I’m not judging and i am quite guarded but I was just wondering what alternatives there are to actually getting married in Morocco. A British wedding in due course is fine but obviously we hardly know each other yet

But I do know from experience that In Muslim cultures there is a rush to get married and all else later but in my case I’m just not gonna do it that way..coz well I don’t need to.

pakistani ifrom great people i like
them

that's right
there is many stories of scams

I will advise you, because I am Moroccan, the girl who will accept to live with you for a period before marriage will definitely have passed through relationships, meaning not a virgin, and most of the time who will accept this condition quickly will be aiming to travel quickly abroad and there in the event that the woman is a fraudster will rush towards relationships, you may find the opposite of who will push you to marry first To guarantee the residency, so you have to get married. You should avoid arranged marriage through forums. If you want, you can come to Morocco to get married, but search carefully for whom you will be associated with. Ask neighbors and friends about her if possible. Frankly, I do not wish you to be defrauded. I don’t think that someone who will show you his pictures and beauty very much it would be a good choice. Look for women who love to start a family. You may find this in Pakistani or British Muslim women.

Good Post Paul.

Also it is a muslim country so you cannot just live with a female without marriage, its haram!

Tell her you just lost your job and your broke. If she runs then look for another but i can only say, you must be ready for resposibility  marriage and kids.

Take.your time to know her, there are lots of wonderful women in the world. Somewhere out there you will find somebody as stupid as you and u will love it.

Why meet the parents so soon? How well do you know this lady? How many times did you meet her,go out with her or anything else. Getting engaged is usually the middle ground as it shows a commitment but can be cancelled if one of you or both thinks that you are not suitable for each other. A tourist visa can be very difficult for a person who doesn't work and if the sponsor does not earn above £30000 a year . You need to show that you can support this person during their stay. Good accommodation,saving and a good job well help but not guaranteed. Good luck

Ok well I don’t know this person at all. We speak/video call on a daily basis only for a week.  there is obviously a huge disparity in age, wealth life experience etc etc. I’m in my 40’s and have a good business. Having to sponsor her or her family is not a problem in theory. I’m just trying to ascertain how this process works as a lot of people have bad experiences. Yes I can arrange visas and flights that’s not the issue and no she has no idea what I earn and no there’s no way I will ask neighbors about people. It’s not reliable intel.

So what I want to know is this. How easy is it in Morocco to delay the marriage and just date without sex of course. I don’t mind family involvement..I wish I was more involved when my sisters were meeting guys..I don’t really mind about past marriages or virginity ..I’m not a chauvinist nor a virgin and a divorcee.

So how do you do this process of getting engaged but delaying marriage ..in England we can do a nikah which is a religious ceremony but only common law not a civil wedding. My biggest concern is doing anything complicated that would tie me legally to a person I don’t know. What are peoples experiences?

Aiden Ash wrote:

Good Post Paul.

Also it is a muslim country so you cannot just live with a female without marriage, its haram!

Tell her you just lost your job and your broke. If she runs then look for another but i can only say, you must be ready for resposibility  marriage and kids.

Take.your time to know her, there are lots of wonderful women in the world. Somewhere out there you will find somebody as stupid as you and u will love it.

Thank you. Your post is a little offensive but let that slide. I think I’ve written more than once that I want to know the process of how dating works in Morocco. Just because something is haram doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. My family are from Pakistan and we do engagements there without sex as people get to know each other.

And no I don’t need to lie about my economic situation to anybody.

paul von wrote:

I will advise you, because I am Moroccan, the girl who will accept to live with you for a period before marriage will definitely have passed through relationships, meaning not a virgin, and most of the time who will accept this condition quickly will be aiming to travel quickly abroad and there in the event that the woman is a fraudster will rush towards relationships, you may find the opposite of who will push you to marry first To guarantee the residency, so you have to get married. You should avoid arranged marriage through forums. If you want, you can come to Morocco to get married, but search carefully for whom you will be associated with. Ask neighbors and friends about her if possible. Frankly, I do not wish you to be defrauded. I don’t think that someone who will show you his pictures and beauty very much it would be a good choice. Look for women who love to start a family. You may find this in Pakistani or British Muslim women.

Ok now we are getting close to what I wanted to know. So you say come to Morocco to get married. No! That’s legally binding. That’s what I wanted to avoid. So what’s the way round it?
Obviously I can stay in Morocco. My business allows me to live anywhere for long stretches at a time. And marrying for economic necessity makes more sense to me now than marrying for love. After my divorce I’m very sceptical.

If she is not a virgin, there is a high possibility for her to go in a date with you befor marriage .  And you have to know a true information about her and her family ... you need a marocain friend for doing some investigations for you
to avoid the scam subject

This is the stupidest thing Ive ever heard..  how could u judge a girl that u dont u dont know.. be it a virgin or not this is not thd issue.. you need a brain watch dude

***

Adam rachak wrote:

If she is not a virgin, there is a high possibility for her to go in a date with you befor marriage .  And you have to know a true information about her and her family ... you need a marocain friend for doing some investigations for you
to avoid the scam subject

Well people get married then divorced but yes it’s good to know as much about background as possible.

Yes, the background is very important

No he is Pakistani

My friend, if there is a big difference in age, then know often that you are on your way to exposure to fraud, believe me, especially from a person you do not know and whose financial conditions may be moderate or weak. I do not know him with my daughter even if he is rich and outwardly respectful. As for your attempt to delay marriage, this is your right. You can date her for a period of 5 months, for example, and then suggest the engagement if you like it and wait for another months until she learns the local language a little and accomplishes your investigation. You can cancel the engagement if you want, the investigation An important thing about her is that a woman can control you without realizing it through magic, for example, so be careful and make local friends, try not to show that you are rich.

my respect bro

Person find girl as per his/her matching it is necessary. I am married with Moroccan girl and she is good , English speaking, dressing descent,  not spending unnecessary money most of food cooking at home , giving tution to kids english, Arabic , French. Means culture girl. I am happy with her thanks God. You can kind good girl in Morocco and will not regret if you are good Smith.

You guys are discussing your private life in this Forum , it clearly indicates you are very much lonely and have no1 to discuss your life, which leads to the conclusion that you were abandoned ( feel sorry for you)
we must understand that there is a difference between good judgment and bad judgment. Bad judgments are meant to feed our own personal ego and put others down, which is not the healthiest thing to do, so to speak. Quite simply put, judging is evil

It really depends on you and her ( unless her family wants to get involved ) getting engaged is a religious ceremony and it's a promise to each other. Generally in morocco and as a Moroccan a man and a woman meet each other have a relationship ( not necessary physical one ) than decide how proceed. If her family is so called religious and difficult than you will have to commit in a way,of getting engaged which is usually respected and allows you to get out together and know each other more. I hope that this helps. Have you been to morocco before? Which city is you lady is at?

Heart collector? and it's your business because?

Yawns !

The opposite for me, im a uk pakistani lady with moroccan man who is now my husband.
We didn't meet online but face to face so I know who I was dealing with. I flew out several times from London and we applied for tourist visa for the UK but they are fairly strict - it helps if you lady has a job and payslips as it supports their return home as they have commitments after their visit. We couldn't provide payslips as cash in hand work and to be honest no one can guarantee anyone's return. Best you fly out to Morocco when you can its hardly expensive, 3.5hr flight and conduct dating whilst you stay separately.
I did this, married after 18mths - was also a divorcee so was hesitant and took my sweet time. Validated everything, unturned the rocks.
Luckily I found a decent honest guy and we are happy and his family are lovely alhumduililah. You will get comments about whether your lady is genuine, a virgin etc  know  you have no guarantees in life with anything, you are a divorcee after all (and so was i) but my advice is the less people you tell the better, trust your gut and go with any flags you see. No one is perfect but you can help someone be their better version. Judgement of people is Allah's work no one on here but be decent and respectful and in no rush truth will come out eventually. I got married in morocco have conditions set in my nikkah to safe guard me- that helps ease my mind. We have now been together 2 yrs. Hope this helps.
Anyone looking to judge, know when you point at someone 3 fingers are pointing back at yourself. All the best mate

i mean if you came to morocco you must learn the language quickly
it's not hard

it's easy

and allah know better i just try to help

IDOUARAB wrote:

It really depends on you and her ( unless her family wants to get involved ) getting engaged is a religious ceremony and it's a promise to each other. Generally in morocco and as a Moroccan a man and a woman meet each other have a relationship ( not necessary physical one ) than decide how proceed. If her family is so called religious and difficult than you will have to commit in a way,of getting engaged which is usually respected and allows you to get out together and know each other more. I hope that this helps. Have you been to morocco before? Which city is you lady is at?

Thank you for your message. So the way to get to know each other is through a religious engagement which is not legally binding. She’s from taroudant. I’m happy to spend a few weeks there getting to know her and her family

ZtK wrote:

The opposite for me, im a uk pakistani lady with moroccan man who is now my husband.
We didn't meet online but face to face so I know who I was dealing with. I flew out several times from London and we applied for tourist visa for the UK but they are fairly strict - it helps if you lady has a job and payslips as it supports their return home as they have commitments after their visit. We couldn't provide payslips as cash in hand work and to be honest no one can guarantee anyone's return. Best you fly out to Morocco when you can its hardly expensive, 3.5hr flight and conduct dating whilst you stay separately.
I did this, married after 18mths - was also a divorcee so was hesitant and took my sweet time. Validated everything, unturned the rocks.
Luckily I found a decent honest guy and we are happy and his family are lovely alhumduililah. You will get comments about whether your lady is genuine, a virgin etc  know  you have no guarantees in life with anything, you are a divorcee after all (and so was i) but my advice is the less people you tell the better, trust your gut and go with any flags you see. No one is perfect but you can help someone be their better version. Judgement of people is Allah's work no one on here but be decent and respectful and in no rush truth will come out eventually. I got married in morocco have conditions set in my nikkah to safe guard me- that helps ease my mind. We have now been together 2 yrs. Hope this helps.
Anyone looking to judge, know when you point at someone 3 fingers are pointing back at yourself. All the best mate

Thank you this is exactly the kind of reply I was looking for. So happy that you met a decent guy. There’s scumbags all over the world and in any culture.

Just to be clear this is as much an academic exercise as any as we’ve been chatting for only a week. But a seed has now been sown in my mind as she’s wonderful and a young divorcee. I will go to Morocco and meet her, god knows we all need a holiday come June. I have two options though they are not mutually exclusive. To date when I am there but I would need to have alone time with her in a non sexual sense. How does one do that in Morocco? It’s easier for you as a woman but family members are more guarded regarding their daughter as they rightly should be. In time this will lead to engagement.

Alternatively I was thinking to get to know her then do a uk tourist visa and see if she can stay a few months in uk and we do a nikah when we are ready. It’s not legally binding. I have a business and considerable assets (she knows nothing about this)  and I would not want anybody to take away my childs inheritance if it turns too sour too soon.

So I guess there should always be safeguards in a Moroccan marriage certificate. So you mean something like a pre nup agreement?

Hey welcome ,
You come ask for advice we hope we can give it , about moroccan not all scam and not all good and thats in every country .
You can dating her before marriage with rules ( not living with her or sleep with her just visit her familly and go out together and know each other and all respectful ways .
morocco is islamic country but we are not all following islam rules , we have all kind of things you know in europe its just the percentage of this things is low here compare to there .
morocco visa to uk its not easy .
if she want to scam you she will , you cant find out , maybe if you luck you will find out .
And if she is a good woman , moroccan woman are wonderful .
Say you are going to visit her in morocco and meet each other then see what happen , not come direct for marriage .

I think some people are stupid,  thru personal life can have idea and share it, some people jealous thats why giving lectures on this forum. Once person live with someone can share it.

Thank you for your comments. It seems sensible to not prejudge. Go with eyes open and a cautious attitude. But there are some things which a foreigner just can’t know. For example if I book a hotel room, how strict are the authorities in following the mingling between local and foreign unmarried couples. I’m not going for the intention of sex and my experience is that too much too fast almost always results in disaster but I would hate the embarrassment of a knock on the door by the police chief if we are alone in a hotel room. Of course we may never be alone in a hotel room I’m just asking to know how strict the hotels are.

I will of course be first meeting her at her home and seeing the family. The only reason I’m writing in this forum is that as a business person I deal with scammers everyday so can usually spot one a mile away. But this particular lady seems really genuine and it’s no risk for me to have a holiday in Morocco anyway.

For been in hotel room you need to give marriage paper if you want to stay together in one room . some hotels offer this without paper in hidden way and this true .
if she want meet you everyday like go together hangout in the city she need a paper from police general office thats show that you are a tourist and she is like a guide for you . This to protect tourist and stop fake guide .

Yes that's true what you say about paper, hotel and so on. As a European lady on holiday to visit my friend I had this experience  in Morocco. I had to book two hotel rooms in every place. My Moroccan friend was joining me secretly . I was quite surprised and disturbed by the intrusion of law in your personal life ... but this is true you need a certificate of marriage if you book a room for two (and one of you is Moroccan). My friend was also carrying a paper he got from the police. Astonishing. Very not used to this. A big cultural difference for sure.

I understand you completely. I am more or less in the same situation, living in England and trying to live with my love who is in Morocco. Except I am a woman.
It's really not simple. I am still trying to find how difficult it is to get a visa for him either for France or the UK.
The pandemic is not helping. I miss him. I hope to go there in June, May at the earliest as we should be able to go abroad from 17th May - fingers crossed. I need a holiday too after all this time in lockdown.
I think you are very sensible and intelligent. Go on holiday and stay in a hotel near where she lives. You will feel what you will feel when you meet her. You are the only one to know. Don't listen to those who try to discourage you.  Maybe hire a car to explore the area on your own every other day. Everything is cheap at the moment.
I find Touritox's advice true and useful.
I wish you the best.

The only way around this is to book your hotel from outside Morocco with all the names on the bookings confirmation. Hotels don't like it but can't refuse a foreign booking and have to honour it. You don't need a marriage certificate with booking already made from abroad ( outside Morocco ) that's already confirmed. In the confirmed booking there is usually terms and conditions of the bookings and bringing a prove of marriage certificate is not there. In Morocco married couples don't have the same surname. I hope this help

Hi
Despite booking from abroad I booked two rooms last time because I didn't know this. It helps a lot thank you.

Thank you for this. I’m looking at bookings made from uk and I will put her name on the bookings if it’s an Airbnb as I don’t like lying and I definitely don’t want an embarrassing knock on the door. And we will most likely get a car and travel around and possibly get engaged in June. I will meet her family. We all already speak everyday on video chat. I have to learn fous-ha Arabic quickly her elderly parents struggle.

I have to be careful not to let my emotions run away with me, but this isn’t about emotions it’s about trying to understand the do’s and dont’s of a foreign country. I believe for marriage I have to produce a talak paper? This confuses me as I was never married in a civil uk wedding just did a nikah and then a few years later we agreed talak by consent and wrote to each other. But I’m hearing now that further down the line Moroccan authorities will require all kinds of documents ie financial accounts, police check, talak Khula papers from sharia council uk. This can’t be correct can it?