Let's say you have recently been hired abroad, or you have been promoted, changed department, changed supervisors... And that everything was going fine until the day tensions began to flare between you and your supervisor. Ever since then, every day brought its share of disagreements. Either that, or they would break out without warning, at the turn of a meeting, or because of some misunderstanding or misinterpretation.
Conflicts at work can quickly undermine a life. We think about them before going to work. They follow us during the day and even catch up with us when we get home. These conflicts can take an even more dramatic turn when you live abroad, as you're away from your roots and your support system. So how do you deal with these conflict situations? Who can you turn to?
How do you deal with a conflict with your superior?
There are questions that need to be answered if you want to understand the situation. Where does the conflict come from? Is it purely professional or personal? In some cases, there is simply no match with the superior. Sometimes, the expatriate's and/or the superior's skills are questioned.
The first and most difficult thing to do is to take a step back. This is the only way to get to the root of the conflict. It is also the beginning of the solution. In a foreign country, all emotions can be magnified tenfold, on one side as much as on the other. You moved from your home country to embrace a different culture. Ask yourself the following questions: "Is the conflict my fault or not? Is it a misunderstanding? Is the origin of the conflict professional? Is the problem deeper (values, incompatible characters, etc.)?"
Remember that your superior is just as human as you are and that the expat culture shock of the expatriate is often pointed out. Do not forget that the company that has hired you is also taking on a challenge, even if it is familiar with the practice. While it is not always easy for you to be understood by your compatriots, now there's the foreigner who can add another difficulty layer to the situation. In any case, if you speak the language and understand the local culture, you will save precious time.
You may not necessarily find the source of the problem. In any event, after taking a step back, move on to dialogue. You need to move fast, as quickly as possible, to avoid getting into more complications. Ask for a meeting with your manager, respecting the customary habits of your host country and the culture of your company.Â
Can you speak directly to your manager, or do you need to make a written request? Do not attempt to settle a score, even if you feel victimized. Try to understand your manager and show that you want to find a solution.
What to do when dialogue doesn't work?
Sometimes all your efforts will not resolve the conflict. In this case, consider bringing in a third party. Again, everything will depend on the company's procedures and legislation in your host country. Are the workers' unions present? Can you call on employee representatives, a mediator, or even the occupational physician? Some countries provide in their labor code the possibility of being assisted by an advisor in the absence of employee representatives.
Who assisted you when you took up your position? Did you benefit from an induction program or culture training within your new company? Depending on your situation, you can ask your tutor or, failing that, your HR manager or, if there is one, your "chief happiness officer". This "happiness manager" or "company happiness officer" ensures that employees feel "good" at work. Conflict management is, therefore, one of their missions. Although the profession is still confidential, it is gaining ground in large groups and startups.Â
Some detached employees and those on expatriation contracts think about turning to the company that sent them. But this method is risky. The sending company is a complete stranger to the conflict and might think the employee wants to force it to take sides. The foreign company may well feel infantilized. In the end, it would only make the problem worse.
How to prevent conflicts when working abroad
Do your homework. Without having to go into all the labor laws of your host country, find out about the basics well before you leave. Think of the presence of a workers' union, the state of the labor market, the situation of your future company, etc. This advice also applies if you are going abroad to find work.
Educate yourself. If you have the chance to benefit from intercultural integration programs, take advantage of them. If your sending company does not provide any support, or if you are moving abroad on your own, don't panic! There are specialized expatriation coaches who will provide you with guidance before, during, and even after your work experience abroad. YouTube videos and other blogs also provide a goldmine of useful information.
Learn the local language. This cannot be stressed enough. If possible, you should start learning the language before you come. At the very least, you should have the foundation that will allow you to successfully start your new life. Don't skip out on learning the language and culture. Even if you speak only English at your company, you will not spend your entire life there. Knowing the language will help you connect with the locals. They will also see that you are making an effort to fit in. At work, you'll be able to spot potential sources of conflict more easily.
Be properly briefed on your position. Is it what you were told it would be? If it doesn't, politely ask for an explanation.
If possible, come in a few weeks or even two good months before you start at your new position. Imagine the stress of starting work as soon as you get off the plane. Allow yourself time to complete your administrative formalities, move in and familiarize yourself with your new neighborhood so as to get your bearings right. You will land at your new workplace more relaxed.
Ask questions. Expatriates often make the mistake of not asking anything. They want to get up and running as quickly as possible and forget that the same job can be done differently in different countries. Observe your colleagues and superiors, and the way they work and act. Are they used to speaking loudly, softly, and moving around a lot? What is the atmosphere in the office? Conflicts sometimes arise from such details that are thought to be insignificant but have a huge impact on work.
Nurture the art of compromise, but not in excess. Don't let yourself be driven by the thought that this alone will resolve the conflict. You risk sacrificing your own sanity. Remain vigilant, especially if you notice that the dispute is turning into discrimination, aggressiveness, harassment, etc. These practices are condemned by many laws.
Do not let yourself be undermined by a conflict. On the contrary, show your ability to bounce back.
