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Before I left Canada I got stung a couple of times by 'net friends' asking for financial help for this, that or the other and I found out that the best protection, without just coming out and saying "NO" was to offer to pay what needed to be paid directly. The ones who truly needed the help thought it was a wonderful idea and took no offense, those that didn't really need the help and were just looking for some easy money dropped the idea immediately. This will take care of the problem and you'll have a clear conscience too.

I'd suggest that you ask her to find a way for you to pay for her internet directly with the service provider, give you their phone number, etc., so you can contact them and arrange something directly with them. Then you know that is exactly what the money is going towards. If this is really her intention then she won't mind you making arrangements to pay the internet directly. I'd be hesitant about paying by credit card for security reasons, but if that's your only option and you have some kind of coverage on your card in the event of fraudulent use then it should be ok. Also to avoid any additional transaction fees it might be good if you can arrange to pay 3 months at a time, making less international transactions.

If she balks at paying directly or at some point starts asking for money for other things then maybe it's time to cut your losses and look elsewhere for a soulmate. I found that once you start paying "expenses" it sort of feeds on itself and the requests keep on coming. This is something that you must judge for yourself. If you think the benefits outweigh the risks, then you do what you think is right for you.

Not that I'm suggesting that you turn into an all-out skeptic, but you must understand that you're dealing with someone from a developing nation and in many cases westerners are all seen a being rich. Not that your lady friend may be one of them, but some people see nothing wrong with trying to take advantage.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, EB Experts Team

Hi sorry for ur past.u need to get over it first to gain trust or love any other gal.secondly does she use her phone to chat or laptop.if she gas a laptop then she can jus connect to affordable Internet which is as low as 4000k a month plus TV cable.hope that helps u

My advice as a kenyan lady is take some more time to know her,whatsapp is the cheapest method to communicate if you dont want to spend money but also if you are the one suggesting skype then u can always send her .its not more than $60 per month to manage the cheapest wifi connection.

She may be genuine but you do need time to find out. But the fact that you say she doesn't have a proper job?hmmm
Patience pays though.

Good luck

I am British and have been happily married to a Kenyan lady for about 17 years.  I am unsure whether this qualifies me to pass meaningful comment. 

This is a tough one.  Firstly the internet, for using Whatsapp is not at all expensive in Kenya, so it would be useful to know how much she is asking for, if it is a couple of thousand Kenya Shillings, then it could be genuine, if it is a lot more, possibly not.  You could use a money transfer service, such as World Remit, to top up her phone and see how she reacts, particularly if she says that she would rather have cash, for example. 

It is an unfortunate fact that many Kenyans still assume that westerners are all very rich and that countries such as the UK are the land of milk and honey.  One way to get a ticket out of there would possibly be via a relationship.  Or, it may be genuine.

My wife wanted to marry a westerner because of the philandering ways of Kenyan men.  In her case, she had also spent time in the UK and knew what it was really like......... my point being that this doesn't just have to be about money.

If you manage to find a way of helping her with the phone and internet bills, your suspicions should be aroused, if she then starts asking for money for other things, in increasing amounts.  These are typically; sick relatives that need to pay medical bills and help with school or college fees.

Please don't invest too much emotionally until you are sure.

Hi there....

My suggestion is that you shouldn't continue with yr. relations with that lady just for the simple reason that she is asking you for money to keep chatting.....No doubts she wants yr. money.

Ever so sorry to tell you that....
My best regards
Edmundo

Kenya Girlfriends (or boyfriends).

I am here in this country since 30 years. I have seen many men and women falling in love. Most of them with a bitter end. There is allways a conflict of intersst. Monney monney monney. It starts with small amounts and ++++ Don't get on the hook you will be lost. Wish you a nice girlfriend in your country.
All the best
P.R

I agree...I would end the relationship. I am married to a Kenyan man and I'm an expat but he has always provided for me and never asked for a cent. Unfortunately, he is a rare breed here. Most Kenyans see foreigners as a pay cheque. I'm sorry to say that but it's the unfortunate truth...it will start off as small amounts of money and become more and more and more till that is your only purpose. Also, she likely has other men on the side.

I would not send money or if you do only a very small bit around 15 US$ that gives her money to buy time for chatting.
If you are planning to visit her also do not send anything upfront as you can book your interary yourelf, be careful who and where you would meet as you do not have a history from her and you would not be the first person to be conned.
This is not only in Kenya but the whole world. Maybe you are lucky as my friend who met his kenyan wife online and are happily married, however she was living in a different country. I am a Dutch person married to a kenyan and have children living outside kenya

hi,
long distance relationships have challenges, you have to realize that. only send money that you feel comfortable or better request the community here to assist her get a job and stand on her own. there are plenty of opportunities for serious chaps in Nairobi for example.
it is sad but i have guys who spent thousands on amorphous 'projects', only to regret it.

also you may request discreet check on this person.

regards and best wishes.

I met a girl online from nairobi we talked for a few months she said she was christian, and told me she was a surgeon. When I met her finally, it was all a lie. I am happy I never sent her any money. I am currently dating a woman from Nairobi who is trying to be an Instagram model, whatever.  She is also trying to get money from me all the time, upkeep money she calls it.  I told her to post a picture of us on Instagram, she refused.  It is because she is looking for the next guy or already has another. I always tell them I never send money to someone I have not met in person.  I have been burned before. Also If I have met someone I also tell them I don't send money to someone I don't live with.  A good rule is to never date anyone that does not have a job.  They will bleed you dry

@jiguina

Hello and welcome !

Sorry to hear that but this is an old thread of 2014...

If you have any questions about moving to Kenya, feel free to open a new thread on the Kenya forum.

Regards

Bhavna

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